Monday, September 30, 2013

There's Only a 50% Chance I'm Not Facedown in a Pile of Mini Donuts Right Now

Overdramatic announcement time!

Instead of continuing to half-ass around here, I'm taking a sabbatical from the blog to work on my book. Full-assed. Now that Breaking Bad has ended, I feel I have nothing left to live for can fully commit.

So it's like... a blah-battical. That sounds really important and not at all made up.

I thought about not even saying anything, but then I thought, rather than disappear for a few months and have you (and by "you" I mean you, mom) worry that I finally decamped to the Tootsie Roll turd yurt I've been threatening to build between the garbage cans outside of Clive Owen's pied-a-terre, I wanted to let you know the deal.

But! I'm not going to stop writing columns and updates and pie charts about my secret shames. So, please, if you aren't already, follow me on:

Twitter, and

... until I build back enough strength in my upper arms to lift myself out of the Entenmann's box.

Thank you for your patience, and I LOVE YOU. (And by "you," I mean Internet strangers.)

(Fine, and also you, mom.)



  1. You get your whole ass into that book. I love you, Unes.

  2. Get on that because I went through Five Summers like popcorn. I'm hungry... more more more.

  3. Good for you! Book > Blog. Your book might become assigned reading in AP English someday; your blog, probably not. And I WILL buy your book because I just got a Kindle and need to fill it with entertaining things to read while bfing. Cheers!

    1. Thanks, CMC! Sidebar: I laugh every time I see your name because Jeff and I call our local wine store clerk "C.M.C." It stands for "Creepy Man-Child." In related news, we are assholes.


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