I read a lot of blogs, most of which are written by women in their 30s and 40s, and almost all of which are a mixture of humor and sincere, if navel-gazing, attempts at profundity (uh, sound familiar?).
Anyway, while all of these blogs, and their writers, are very different, I've been noticing lately that the comment sections can get redundant. So I humbly offer the following alternatives for paying homage to your favorite bloggers:
What you want to express: Agreement
The standard comment: THIS.
The unexpected comment: Someone take me to Kinkos, 'cause I need to make a XEROX!
This is both saucy and pleasantly retro. Give yourself a high-five.
What you want to express: Amusement
The standard comment: LOL!!!
The unexpected comment: CUNT!!!
"Cracking Up, Nice Touch!" Obviously.
What you want to express: Empathy
The standard comment: ((((Hugs))))
The unexpected comment: ( ( ) ← Butt
Because crude renderings of butts make people laugh, and laughter improves mood. Like a hug, but with a crack. So, better.
What you want to express: Unbearable sadness
The standard comment: Tears!
The unexpected comment: Tears... of blood.
Anyone can make regular tears, and besides, they're probably not really crying anyway. If you want to stand out, you've got to kick it up a notch, Emeril-style. Haemolacria, bitches. BAM! Look it up.
What you want to express: Pride/Idolization
The standard comment: You're a rockstar!!!!
The unexpected comment: You're a prosthodonist!
Rock stars are usually unstable egomaniacs with substance abuse problems. Is this really the parallel you want to make to commend someone on potty-training their two year-old? A prosthodontist--someone who makes dentures and replacement teeth for people like Keith Richards (incidentally, a ROCKSTAR)--is a rare, highly-skilled, and well-compensated professional. You make the call. I'll wait.