Friday, August 16, 2013

Big News

Forgive the brevity, since I'm on vacation and busy fostering a light jaundice that most people would call "Edward Scissorhands after being doused in flour," but which I proudly call "tan."

But I have news. Big news.

UNABROW, the book--the one I've been joking/secretly but actually not at all desperately hoping I'd one day write--

I feel this needs more ellipses, for emphasis...

....

......

..........

Okay, maybe too many now...

Anyway, it's being published. It's REAL.


(This cover, however, is not real. This cover is me + Photoshop + half a bottle of Prosecco. The label said not to touch heavy machinery, but there's nothing about irresponsible use of software.)

I'll share more when I come back. For now, just know that dreams do come true. And my Tinkerbell tattoo finally paid off.

(Although, don't get a tattoo of a Disney character in a visible place for the sole purpose of getting a book published; it might not work out, and then you'll have to explain that tramp stamp of Smee to everyone at the senior's pool.)

(See, I'm already dispensing valuable life lessons. This book is gonna be great.)
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29 comments :

  1. That cover needs to be real. See how much money you just saved your publisher?

    Wait, scratch that.

    See how much money you just added to your advance by acting as your own designer?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha, thanks. I somehow doubt they will take my incredibly amateur work and run with it, but I will lobby hard for that (or an equally awful) photo for the cover.

      Delete
  2. Congrats! Books being published is always fantastic news. Although, the cover's not half bad. I say keep it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much! And see above :)

      Delete
  3. As a fellow newspaper journalist/writer/blogger, you're my hero. Congratulations!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Awww, thanks! I do not have many heroic qualities, but I know almost all the words to the entire Salt N Pepa canon and I can eat a LOT of cheeseballs.

      Delete
  4. Hi Una!
    Congrats on this book! If you KEEP this cover, it is sure to be a bestseller. I can't imagine anyone walking by this book cover and NOT picking it up to at least have a look.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hey! We're on vacation too, and I think I might be as tan as you are. I wanted to get my picture taken next to the lady who was literally glowing white with sunscreen...I;d have looked so bronze....Anyway, far too much about me and CNGRATULATIONS TO YOU!!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We just glow in a DIFFERENT way. Like a fluorescent light bulb rather than a healthy human being...

      And THANK YOU!!

      Delete
  6. Well look at you! Congratulations! I will be looking for this one when it hits the shelves! In regards to the cover, I like it and I also agree with Pat.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you thank you! (This comment is really subpar and I want you to know it's not personal, I'm just watching Breaking Bad at the same time and some f*cked up sh*t is going down. And now this comment is both subpar and vulgar. Great.)

      Delete
  7. Oh my God I love it when others have regrettable tattoos (am I projecting?). My bestie andI got matching tattoos at 18. Chinese symbols! Meaning "unique"! Definition of irony, eh? They're the actual worst.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is amazing and you will have the best cocktail party joke FOREVER. I'm so jealous. Most people think my Tink is a camel.

      Delete
  8. Oh, and congrats on your book. I am new to your blog. It is fuhnee. A book would be like this also.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I like like you a lot lot.

      Delete
  9. Anonymous8:03 PM

    Another book? Hell, I thought it was going to another baby following all those ellipses...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Believe it or not, I am more excited about this than I would be about another spawn. I've been dreaming of writing a book of humor essays for my entire adult life.

      Delete
  10. Congratulations! So not surprised:-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pshaw, even my mom was shocked.

      Delete
  11. Oh you MUST keep that cover! It will sell the book!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'll let the publisher know you think so :)

      Delete
  12. One word: yes

    (Also, what's with that case study douche?)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He has trouble expressing himself.

      And thank you!!

      Delete
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