Sunday, June 30, 2013

Everything I Learned About Book Readings I Learned... At My First Book Reading

So, guys. I did my first book reading on Friday! That sounds fancy, right? But here's how you know you're a novice author: When you Google "how to do a book reading." And then Google's like, You mean... how to read a book? And you're all, NO, how to read MY book. In front of people. And Google just gives you the side-eye, like, Honey, please, do I look like I have time for this? Between Edward Snowden, Paula Deen, and people asking me to spell out the lyrics to "Blinded By the Light," I have my virtual hands full. Why don't you run and go see if Bing has the time for this shit?

I totally practiced my Professional Author voice in the car on the way up. It was a little dicey at first, because A) it has been documented that I make Muppet faces while performing; and B) the main pop culture references I have for live readings are Carrie Bradshaw and Mike Myers from So I Married An Axe Murderer....

Harrietsweet Harri-et, so knowing, so trusting, so love... ed.
.... but Jeff helped steer me clear of any unnecessarily dramatic ellipses.

I arrived at the lovely venue, R.J. Julia in Madison, CT, five minutes late, because apparently leaving four and a half hours to drive 99 miles isn't quite enough on a Friday. And also because being late to your first-ever reading is also a huge mark of professionalism. Right, self?


But I got there, and I got to sit on a panel with the amazingly talented Susane Colasanti, Huntley Fitzpatrick, and Leila Howland. It was lively and intimate and people laughed at the right parts during my reading. I only slurred a few words from nervousness, and I'm pretty sure no one knew I changed clothes in the car while Jeff did 80 on the highway... although the pictures don't lie.

Hair by Max A/C, wrinkled blouse by Duane Reade bag, crotch accessory by Apple Inc.
I met dozens of wonderful strangers, but there were also a few familiar faces to cheer me on. Thank you, Team Gauvin/Shrader/Phelps!

Cousins!
Thank you also to my mother-in-law, who drove down from Boston to keep Jeff and Sam company while I talked about my still-burning rage at Louisa May Alcott for letting that little bitch Amy get Jo March's man; and who filled us with soft-serve ice-cream after the reading and also didn't judge me for the fifth of Smirnoff stashed in my purse.

Next up is August 22 at the new Word bookstore in Jersey City, NJ, so please save the date if you live nearby.

And--I haven't done a shameless book plug in awhile, so indulge me--you can still buy Five Summers at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Walmart, or Target. Every single sale will help, and I cannot thank those of you who have already bought copies enough. 

P.S. Props to the commenter who said my new font was hard to read. I effed with the blog design AGAIN this weekend because apparently that takes precedence over editing my second manuscript, remembering to shave both legs, and finally learning how to fold a pizza box so it fits in the recycling bag and doesn't shoot back into my face like a cruel, greasy jack-in-the-box. Anyway, let me know if you guys still can't read this. Or, better yet, Google "how to read a blog." I am confident it will steer you on the path of righteousness.
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12 comments :

  1. I am so excited to read your book!I've been a long time stalker here. (I've ordered it from Amazon.) Yeah!!
    I could never read my work aloud, i'd rewrite it as I speak. Bad bad habit. :-)

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    1. Aw, thank you! That's so awesome. And the secret to reading aloud can be found three simple words: Morgan Freeman impersonation.

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  2. I like the new and improved blog look!

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    1. Sweet! If I may steal a line from Ferris Bueller, "I never had one lesson!" :)

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  3. Morgan Freeman Impersonation will henceforth be my strategy with any public speaking or participation in a meeting. Also, I've just ordered your book from Amazon, and I like your new blog look. I think your Morgan Freeman impersonation is what sold me.

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    1. Woo hoo! Oh, wait--does this mean I owe him royalties? Shit.

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  4. Must go write "must order book"on my to-do list, as that is clearly the only way things are getting done around here.

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    1. Try titling your list "To Do FOR REAL." That makes me know I mean business.

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  5. Hello! I'm a long time reader-- you drew me in years ago with your Project Runway recaps! Just wanted to say I loved your book. It was a great summer read, perfectly nostalgic. Made me forget that I hated camp as a kid. Haha. The mosquitoes like me a bit too much! Also, thanks for releasing it as an ebook!

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  6. Anonymous8:09 PM

    Yay I got props!
    You still rock Ms. LaMarche. Can't wait to get your book next week.

    Yasmine

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  7. I just found your blog...love it. I also just bought your book. You're welcome. ;-)

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