Monday, May 6, 2013

10 Fictional Restaurants I Fantasize About Eating at Probably More Than is Normal

10. Captain Hook's Fish and Chips, Fast Times at Ridgemont High

I don't even really like fish, but Judge Reinhold dressed as a pirate seals the deal.

9. The Max, Saved By the Bell

Not so much for the food, more for the subtly elegant decor and frequent impromptu dance performances.

8. Chotchkie's, Office Space

Because Stan and his sexy ice cream tie are the hotness. And I like finding pieces of flair in my food.

7. McDowell’s, Coming to America

When the janitor is wearing a plaid bow tie, you know you're in for some fine-ass dining.

6. T.G.I. Friday's... but ONLY the one from Cocktail 

Get Donald Glover to make quesadillas while twerking, Applebee's and I might reconsider.

5. Jack Rabbit Slim’s, Pulp Fiction

A boring choice, maybe, but who can resist eating in a CAR? (And no, McDonald's in the backseat of our family's 1979 Datsun trapped in 1-95 traffic does not count). Also, in today's economy that much-maligned $5 shake seems like a deal.

4. The Peach Pit, Beverly Hills 90210

Because I would like fries with this, please:

I  love a good high-top on a white boy.

3. The Landford Lunchbox, Roseanne

I actually think about this one way more than anyone needs to. What does it say about me that I'm basically dying to be served a sloppy joe by Roseanne? Is this as obviously sexual as the dream I had in 8th grade about flying on a plane with David Duchovny?

2. Ziggy’s Ice Cream Parlor, Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure

I'm 99% positive I could finish the "Ziggy Pig" but there's only one way to find out. And it's killing me a little bit inside that I can't.

1. The Italian Restaurant, Defending Your Life

Anyone who's seen this 1991 Albert Brooks gem knows that when you're hanging out in between life and afterlife, calories don't exist. The conceit of the running gag is that you can eat as much as you want of the most delicious food you've ever tasted and you'll never feel sick or gain weight. So, yeah. My vanity and gluttony both want me to go to there. Forever.

OK, there are literally about 200 more of these I could list (and I want your fictional food festishes in the comments!), but I have to stop somewhere and be a semi-productive human being today.


Actually, one more thing before I go try to recreate the timpano from Big Night instead of working: If you pre-ordered Five Summers, please forward the e-receipt to for a personalized token of my affection! I want to give you Internet high-fives! And if you haven't yet, there's still time to get a steeply discounted price on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Walmart, or Target.

And check back Friday for the last giveaway before the book finally comes out and I can stop harassing you. Now go eat something delicious.



  1. And the Burger Palace in Grease? (For the guardian angel dance numbers or potential for a rumble)

  2. I want to eat at every restaurant in Defending Your Life. Plus they send you home with pie. Great movie!

  3. Who wouldn't want to share a meal at a loose meat restaurant?

  4. Is it bad if I say chef Pisghetti's? Granted it's a little unsanitary he allows a monkey and cat up on the counters...but the cannolis and pasta always interest me.

  5. I have read this post. collection of post is a nice one . Restaurant. Thanks.......


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