Friday, April 26, 2013

Five Summers Giveaway #2 and My Own Personal Dove Campaign

First things first, CONGRATULATIONS to Vikki and Amy, who won the first Five Summers giveaway and who will now be blessed with my handwriting (and possibly pizza stains, no promises) on their very own hardcover copies of The Greatest Young Adult New England Camp-Based Melodrama of Our Time!

Second thing: Yes, this is another giveaway (scroll down for the widget), but I want to give you guys some sugar for putting up with my endless self-promotional efforts surrounding the book (it will, eventually, ACTUALLY come out, I promise). And I'm sure that by now you've seen the viral Dove real beauty video in which women describe themselves to police sketch artists, right? And you've probably even seen the parody with the totally average dude who calls himself a "white Denzel Washington." So this will be relevant. To everyone but Denzel. (And you should still buy the book, Denzel. You owe me. I sat through The Bone Collector!)

So anyway, you guys know what I look like in real life. Lord knows this blog doesn't need another selfie. But please know that this is how I see myself, most days:

Since this photo is actually of me, I feel like I'm allowed to say what we're all thinking, which is: Buzz, your girlfriend: Woof!
And here is how I see myself on days when I get drunk at lunch:

But if I gave my description to any sketch artist, surely they would see deep down to where my soul glows like a bejeweled bolo tie reflecting a gorgeously buoyant pompadour:

Okay, now we can start the raffle. a Rafflecopter giveaway


  1. Honestly, you are hilarious! Whenever I recieve notice that you have a new post up, I have to rush right over no matter what's going on. (children inserting straws into a bottle of Clorox, cat hacking up epic hairballs into husband's new shoes, woodpeckers pecking large holes in the beams of the house, men in striped shirts and black masks reminiscent of the Hamburglar creeping around outside.....) Thanks for your blog, and can't wait to read the book!

  2. there are too many ridiculous camp memories for me to pick a favourite. So, here are a few snapshots!
    1. got in trouble for skinny dipping. apparently it was against the rules.
    2. was blindfolded and forced to eat bananas in a so-called eating race (jokes, I was the only one eating them)
    3. Peter Pan re-enactment late at night involving fireworks!

  3. Oh camp! The fun times, the bug bites, the inexplicable wrapping of hair in embroidery thread for friendship bracelets. At my first summer at camp, I was not feeling going into the little murky lake. I do not like swimming in water where I cannot see what might be approaching me. Still don't. The counselors told me that there was a heating element under the floating docks that kept the fish and wildlife from entering the swimming area. And I totally bought it. Gullible!

  4. I've never been to camp, but I really like your bolo tie.

  5. omg, i thought i was the only one who quoted home alone out of season!! we are totes soul mates 4ever!!

    creepy bonding aside, i'm very excited about your book...and once i have a job/$ again, it is on my very-short-list of books to buy. (not to be confused with a normal book short-list. i don't have anywhere close to that power or influence. SIGH.) :)

  6. Favorite summer memory? Swim meets when I was ten. We would eat so much food beforehand, scoffing in the face of the "wait 30 minutes after you eat rule". Actually, we were just pudgy and would use any excuse to eat...

  7. Anonymous12:13 PM

    I once woke up to find my counselor in bed with a boy -- I was scandalized!

  8. I want a copy, but I'm very confused by this raffle process (I'm also confused by things like my microwave). I will give it a go and keep my fingers crossed!

  9. Oh, I have to leave a comment about camp to enter the running? I didn't go to camp because I was a weirdo and didn't like to leave my house (I still don't). I did go on a science summer camp thingy once and pretended to eat a frog we dissected. Wow...I'm making myself sound like a serial killer...

  10. Maria3:47 PM

    I never did go to camp, or even know anyone that did. But, my daughter went and I was very jealous. I'm also jealous that she gets to play on the giant spider web thing at the new playground and I don't.

  11. I think you helped me discover why daytime drinking feels like freedom; in a giant sun hat I'm sure I look like Kim Cattrall (the Mannequin years). My drunken lunch self is one Andrew McCarthy degree away from your Dove-commercial Duckie self...not sure what that means, but pretty sure it means absolutely nothing.

  12. You're my hero in life.
    I've never been more proud of my eyebrows. (which resemble both my dad's eyebrows and a newfoundland.)

  13. Well I was the coolest kid ever in that instead of normal camps, I went to dance camp. Yes. The Rockette Summer Intensive to be precise. Did it 5 or 6 times, every summer from the time I was 14 (the minimum age). My weirdest memory is from the first time I went. We were all getting blisters from our character shoes (mine were brand new and just completely ripped my feet apart). Normally, you'd tape your toes/feet with masking tape, but because we were in Austin, Texas in the middle of the summer, we were sweating so much that it fell right off. So someone pulled out duct tape. Yep, shiny silver duct tape, wrapping our ankles and toes in it. It looked weird and was a total bitch to take off, but it did the trick ;)

  14. Anonymous8:35 PM

    I never went to camp, but I was in The Camp Fire Girls and had a sleep over at our leader Mrs. Davis' house. I did play Truth or Dare and was dared to run around the backyard naked, to which I bargained it down to doing several cartwheels topless (I was 11 at the time.) Two or three of the girls said if Darcie does it I'll do it. Mrs. Davis overheard and said "If Darcie does it she's going home!" Cementing my rep as a bad girl. Mrs. Davis had a nervous breakdown (truth) shortly after that so the troop was disbanded. I still remember our CFG's song. "Burn flame, brightly glow, burn now for Wo He Lo, burn flame burn, burn flame burn. Wo He Lo means Work Health Love. Darcie Wiley


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