But now I have some new readers (Hello, friends! Stay awhile. Sit a spell. Pour yourself a mug of wine and get me up to speed on The Rachel Zoe Project), and so the pressure is on. I've gotten used to you stalwarts putting up with my once-a-week posts and general lack of shit-giving, and now I have to impress people who don't really know me yet, and who might not find it endearing that I sometimes wear bikini bottoms as underpants. I mean, metaphorically.
Another thing that happened this weekend, on the very same day that my perfect parenting post went up on HuffPo, was that my BlackBerry Curve, after years of acute dementia and intermittent comas, finally passed on. (I am now the proud owner of an iPhone that I immediately festooned with a Pee Wee Herman case and then promptly dropped.)
Anyway. Since I know this post is bound to disappoint, and to honor my fallen phone, I'm making this the second and final installment of my Shitty BlackBerry Photo series. Worst case scenario, you all stop reading (but joke's on you, I have Yahtzee on my iPhone, which will keep me plenty busy); best case scenario, I ride my 15 minutes and donate a few of these babies to the Met's permanent collection:
1. "Tiny Liza Minnelli Goes Street Camping"
|"Hold my calls."|
|Either way I think it needs some medical attention. I'm no doctor but that looks like elephantiasis of the testes to me.|
|No one thought this title was a bad idea?|
|It makes me happy, though, to think about a bunch of Coors can-swilling barflies waxing nostalgic about Elaine's terrible dancing.|
|No expensive museum membership or toy has ever made him this happy.|
And hello, new friends. I'm not always this lazy. Just mostly. Get excited.