Monday, March 11, 2013

Say It Ain't Flo

Guess what I haven't done in over two years?

If you guessed "squats on purpose" or "gone to the dentist," you're also right but those aren't the answers I'm looking for.

I won't give you the explicit details of my imMENSE(s) milestone, since I'm a lady. Suffice to say my ovaries have awoken from their prolactin-induced paralysis, and my uterus thinks it's all cute, dancing around like, Woot! I can make babies again! while I make the sign of the cross and curse under my breath (not the usual combo, I know, but I like to mix it up). The good news, of course, is that the cramps make me fold in on myself and crumple to the floor, which means that about 50% of the time Sam misses my head with whatever blunt object he's throwing around the apartment.

Also, I counted, and it's been 777 days since my last (side note: someone please come up with an un-gross word that doesn't make me sound like I wear velvet pants and collect crystals) cycle. Isn't that like a slot machine jackpot?

I know, I know; I said "slot." Sigh. I bring this on myself.


  1. woot! Does this mean baby #2 is on the horizon?!! Please tell us all your intimate details.

  2. I don't know whether to cheer or boo—not having the monthly visitor seems kinda cushy

    But congratulations! :)

  3. If you would have just gotten pregnant again (like me) then you could be still living in cycleless bliss...or be dealing with pregnancy hormones and the impending birth thing again;-) It'll be a rude awakening when I get it again!


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