Monday, March 11, 2013

Say It Ain't Flo


Guess what I haven't done in over two years?

If you guessed "squats on purpose" or "gone to the dentist," you're also right but those aren't the answers I'm looking for.

I won't give you the explicit details of my imMENSE(s) milestone, since I'm a lady. Suffice to say my ovaries have awoken from their prolactin-induced paralysis, and my uterus thinks it's all cute, dancing around like, Woot! I can make babies again! while I make the sign of the cross and curse under my breath (not the usual combo, I know, but I like to mix it up). The good news, of course, is that the cramps make me fold in on myself and crumple to the floor, which means that about 50% of the time Sam misses my head with whatever blunt object he's throwing around the apartment.

Also, I counted, and it's been 777 days since my last (side note: someone please come up with an un-gross word that doesn't make me sound like I wear velvet pants and collect crystals) cycle. Isn't that like a slot machine jackpot?

I know, I know; I said "slot." Sigh. I bring this on myself.
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3 comments :

  1. woot! Does this mean baby #2 is on the horizon?!! Please tell us all your intimate details.

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  2. I don't know whether to cheer or boo—not having the monthly visitor seems kinda cushy

    But congratulations! :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. If you would have just gotten pregnant again (like me) then you could be still living in cycleless bliss...or be dealing with pregnancy hormones and the impending birth thing again;-) It'll be a rude awakening when I get it again!

    ReplyDelete

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