Psssssht, I don't need to click that. What do you think I am, stupid? Common sense steps to achieve this look:
- Go to a farm or a ranch somewhere, or to the Arctic if you want a musk ox and not just a regular ox. I don't know if their blood is different. Maybe ask Dr. Oz?
- Slaughter ox. Strap to roof of car. (Maybe cover it with an old blanket or something to avoid suspicion/permanent stains.)
- Shrink-wrap your whole apartment, Dexter-style.
- Drain blood from ox. I don't know how to do this. Maybe ask Sarah Palin/Survivor Man?
- Dispose of ox (if it won't fit through your window, you will have to taxidermy and incorporate into your existing home decor.)
- Drench self in ox blood.
Shit, I forgot the most important step: Make sure it is fall.
Otherwise you'll look like an asshole.
|"Oh no. It's May. I am so embarrassed."|