Monday, October 15, 2012
S. has been teething hardcore lately (KILL ME NOW--whose great idea was it to have sharp pieces of bone stab a baby's mouth from the inside?), which has gotten me thinking about my own pearly yellows.
A lot of people are weird (read: responsible) about teeth, but I am not one of them. Like, my best friend Anna from high school has crazy dental hygiene. She never misses a flossing, and even drinks coffee and wine through straws. It's intense. She probably has really fresh breath though, whereas mine in all likelihood smells like Thai food and rich frosted mini donuts that have been soaking in a wine barrel for months unattended.
My theory, which is probably unwise seeing as I currently have no dental insurance, is that teeth can be replaced, so what's the big deal if you ruin them? (My mom is audibly gasping right now, and shaking her head sadly.) I'm kind of kidding, but not completely. I mean, I know you're fucked if you screw up your heart or liver, but teeth are pretty cheap as new body parts go. I speak from experience. In college, for reasons still unknown to me but probably having to do with grain alcohol, ramen noodles, and general vitamin deficiencies, one of my molars basically broke off. Then, for reasons I have repressed but which definitely had to do with laziness and questionable $20 bags of powdery schwag weed, I decided to put off going to the dentist for 8 months, at which point I needed a root canal and a new tooth.
Since then, I haven't had more than the odd cavity--which is really amazing considering my lifestyle--but I'm starting to worry again because I haven't been to the dentist since the September before I got pregnant, which for those of you who are awesome at math is more than TWO YEARS. In my defense, A) I was pregnant, B) I am lazy, and C) My dentist died.
I'd been going to him since I was 8 years old, too, so as far as I'm concerned he was the only dentist in my life. I'm going to compare all other dentists to him, and when I keep picking the wrong dentist, people are going to whisper, "Oh, yeah, Una? She has major dentist issues."Knowing me, when push comes to all of my teeth falling out of my gums, I'll probably just pick a new one based on the name. So good news, Dr. Glasscock, you've got a new patient coming. Probably sometime around 2017. Break out the nitrous.