Tuesday, October 2, 2012

One!

Momma C. was like, "I'M TIRED OF SEEING CHRIS BROWN AT THE TOP OF YOUR BLOG, YOUR SON JUST TURNED ONE, POST SOME GD PHOTOS!!!!"

Except she said it more nicely. I just translated it into caps lock.

Anyway, THIS ONE'S FOR YOU, MOM.

That off-camera sight he's terrified by isn't ten people singing loudly at him, it's my untweezed-for-two-weeks eyebrows. He sees his future, and woe! For it is bleak and Nair-y.
The requisite Abandoning of the Nutritional Standards. He never had a bris or a christening, but frosting is pretty much my family's religion.
Like his mother, he loves chocolate. Only in a less adorably racist way.
My sister got S. a collapsible tunnel, presumably so that he could perform a dramatic re-enactment of his entrance into the world on his birthday. My cervix is in fact made of rainbow sherbet, so this is very true to life!
I've never been able to keep fish, plants or yogurt cultures alive, so this one-year milestone is a very big deal for me. So what comes next, Ye Of Parental Experience That Extends Beyond The Average Warranty For A Kindle?
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13 comments :

  1. When I got to "cervix" - I got... I got woozy.

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  2. Happy birthday, S!! (Seriously, it's been a year?!?!)

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  3. Happy Birthday little S!

    I too am waiting to discover what lies beyond the warranty period... So far, it's much the same, but with walking and more chocolate.

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  4. Get outta here with that cute! No but seriously. More of these. Cervix references mandatory.

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  5. Dang he is cute! My mom is the same way about my blog. Get Google reader yo!

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  6. Very cute.

    Happy Birthday to S.

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  7. Oh, boy is your kid ever cute!

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  8. Hot damn, that is a fucking adorable kid! He is a perfect mix of you and Jeff. Happy first birthday, S!!

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  9. Oh happy birthday baby and your mama is so funny: Her cervix IS a collapsible rainbow sherbet tunnel.

    Your mama is one of the coolest, smartest women I've met.

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  10. Next, next...let me think.

    1. Extremely disturbing poop.You think you know, but you DON'T KNOW.
    2. Running around trying to kill himself.
    3. Talking. As in, saying "Daddy" for two months before grudgingly whispering "Mama" once. Then, eventually, saying things like "I hate his hair!" really loud.

    Other stuff, too. I forget. Oh, sleep. None of that.

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  11. Congratulations and best of luck on phase two! He is absolutely beautiful!

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  12. HE IS SO ADORABLE! (the all-caps is spreading!) happy belated first birthday, little buddy! :) i think abandoning nutritional standards is a pretty awesome way of celebrating one year of existence. heh.

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