Me: I don't think I can read this book anymore.
Me: I feel kind of... racist.
Me: My Elmo voice. I don't know, it's not on purpose, but I feel like I sound like Mickey Rooney in Breakfast at Tiffany's.
Jeff: How would you even be racist to a Muppet? [pause] Hand-warmer!... Glove!... You fucking mitten!
P.S. Jeff takes young children's school portraits, so he does a great Elmo voice. It is not racist at all. But his favorite thing to say (to me, not the kids) is "Elmo loves PILLS!"