I know. I left you for a long time. Not that you're not used to that by now, since I do it every, oh, six days or so. But still. I feel abandon-y. Like the other day I was doing a Google search for "fake Latina Carrie Bradshaw" (don't ask*) and I thought, I could be blogging right now. But then the images loaded and my corneas burned away.
*Actually, this was in service of a blog post I haven't yet fully realized, in which I reveal that, as a 30-something, I now find Carrie unbearably obnoxious. Whereas when I was 23, I told anyone who would listen that I was totally a Carrie. Now I watch SATC and I'm like, wow... um, was it really okay to be a racist** with no pants on in the early aughts? Because somehow I missed that whole trend.
**If you were, HYPOTHETICALLY, to re-watch the entire series***, you, too, would notice that Carrie "pretends" to be a ghetto Latina/black girl WAY more often than is ever, ever recommended for a white girl who wears big vagina flowers and speaks only in puns.
***I'm still nursing, and its the only time I get to watch TV, so this is excused. Hypothetically.
Other things I've been up to aside from Google searches of shame:
- Writing stuff. I swear. Just not here. Mostly here, and here. Also the big project I keep teasing you about. It's super secret and causes me to look at all times like Cathy from the Cathy comic (duh) when she sweats profusely while wearing a head scarf and screaming "ACK!!!", and NO, it is not a video of me finally nailing the Single Ladies choreography. I wish.
- Competing in the Amateur Hurdles that are our new baby gates. Basically Jeff and I just re-enact those scenes from Funny Farm with Chevy Chase biting it over the Dutch door, over and over again.
- Drinking my special juice (wine), and wishing I had cable so I could watch Here Comes Honey Boo-Boo. (Don't judge me, ACK!!! I'm stressed out!!!!)
- Experiencing Baby's First Beach Vacation, also known as Baby Eats Much More Sand Than Is Probably Medically Sound, later known as Baby Poops Sand and Cries. P.S. here is how big he is now: (<--Yeah, I read that sentence too and was like, hmmm... no. But then again, eh.)
(That's not an abnormally large baby, I'm just that short in real life. Also I still exclusively wear my maternity tops, so all of my shirts reach past my butt. I basically don't even require pants anymore. Sigh. I am such a Carrie. Why do I lie to myself?)