Friday, August 24, 2012

5 Questions I Ask My Son Which Taken Out of Context Make Me Seem Rude, or Just Really High

  1. Did you just poop?
  2. Is that your nose?
  3. Who has the most delicious tummy?
  4. Can I eat your feet?
  5. Where is your nipply ball?*
* I mean... what would you call this?

It's like a Rubik's Cube of Bart Simpson's scalp. But it's not as bad as the crazy little butt plug with the freckles and the dead eyes...

It's a "mushroom." Uh huh. Whatever, Amazon.

Are you sure you didn't just poop?



  1. We had the same ball for our kids and I called it a "nipple ball."

    Your other "toy"? I ain't touchin' that!

  2. Those are so creepy. Well, the nipply ball isn't creepy, but it reminds me of this spiny-jiggle ball thing that I got for my dog, but when I turned it on (it was supposed to be hard to catch, and therefore entertaining without requiring human interaction), she was TERRIFIED of it.

    I don't know what's worse- the "mushroom"'s freckles or its swirly... belly-button?

  3. Amazon should totally hire you to write product descriptions!

  4. amazon, just tell it like it's a mushroom...with a nipple on its head. (why do they feel the need to add a happy face, i wonder? isn't a 'permanent nipple' you can carry around in your hand all day good enough?!)

  5. That mushroom IS disturbing. And clearly it's a nipply ball. :)

  6. I really shouldn't be reading this post while at work ..... Apparently my laugh isn't as silent as I thought.

  7. What is that squiggle that the alleged mushroom is sporting?

  8. No I haven't but almost spit out my coffee and shat my pants laughing.

  9. Well, I've been high on mescaline with Una and she says the exact same things.


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