Me: Oh. I'm done. I'm just reading through old blog posts, remembering wistfully when I used to have creative energy. I used to bring it every day.
Jeff: Girl, you still bring it.
Me: False. But... I guess some day I'll look back on this time and feel good about the fact that I gave all of my energy to raising our son, instead of to crafting witty blog posts.
Jeff: Eh, that depends. If he's a success, then yes. If he still lives at home when he's 45, you'll probably regret not making more graphs about your vag.
*This is code for "watching The Voice on Hulu at a very low volume while filling a Baby Gap online shopping cart with tiny fedoras and Guayabera onesies.
*****I INTERRUPT THIS
BOTTLE OF WINE ADORABLE MARITAL MOMENT TO BRING YOU FUCKING EXCITING NEWS******
|I just ate two boxes of frozen Samoas and my entire colon is now a macaroon. Which is true. But also...|
|This is what I look like when I perform in public. Note Jeff's avoidance at looking at my awesome chicken dance lest all other women be ruined for him.|