Friday, July 1, 2011

Subway Nemesis, Vol. 1

Today I'd like to introduce a crappily finger-painted comic I like to call...


This week, it's this guy:

It's hard to communicate douche-iness with finger-painting, but trust me: Asshat.

He was sitting like so when I waddled up, the ever popular "elephantiasis of the testes" wide-legged stance:


I was so naive.

Surely he would shift to accommodate my fecund heft?

But no.

This is what I should have done:

"Excuse me, sir. Unless your dick is 15 inches long, weighs two pounds, and makes you fart uncontrollably, I believe I have rights to that space."

This is what I did do:

I'm so going to blog about this when I get home. 

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14 comments :

  1. His douchiness is definitely proportionate to the size of his genitalia. The bigger the douche..the smaller the peas and carrot. Well-known fact. He can be found in the wild...he's everywhere this Hateapreggus Douchus.

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  2. Maybe he was blind, check out those glasses.

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  3. You totally should have preggo-farted on him. For the whole ride.

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  4. Kick his leg with you knee to get it out of the way. All's fair in love, war and public transportation!

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  5. any self-respecting man with all of his limbs intact and without a serious wound or medical condition should get the fuck out of a seat for a women, especially pregnant ones. asshat is right. i'll go as far as douche-canoe.

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  6. Wow! I love this strip. Looking forward to more illustrations!!! Please! I've never been pregnant or a woman and these doucheriffic ballsacs always in my space. Shut em dude. Maybe you need looser pants or boxers. Just squeeze you legs together one time for me please.

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  7. What Steph said for sure. Jerk!

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  8. BTW I love the illustrations! Such talent :)

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  9. Anonymous12:29 AM

    i swear i know that guy

    your depiction is uncanny. and that shirt is pretty douchey

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  10. Love the drawings - what an ASS!

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  11. That was great. And congrats on your pregnancy, Sassy. It makes me wonder, where the hell have I been? Really happy for you. Am making voodoo doll of douchebag guy. ssshh.

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  12. Really loved the illustrations, very clever

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  13. The word "asshat" got me laughing. Hard.

    What a douche. Were his ears really that big? :) I love this finger painting idea!

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  14. Anonymous10:46 PM

    No one cares to make special accomodations for you when you are THAT CUTE AND PREGO. Wait until you are about 37 weeks and all puffed up, swollen from the ears down and you look like you are about to blow from holding those pregnant farts. Peeps will move, trust me. And if they don't, you have the right to sit on them, flatulence and all...

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