Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Scenes From a Marriage: Breaking Up Baby

Me: It’s weird, when I used to think about having a baby, I never thought about sharing it with someone else.

Jeff: (immediately) I get the top half.

Me: No, that’s not what I meant. I just never imagined being able to relinquish control to another—

Jeff: OK, I get the front half.

Me: Stop it, we are not dividing the baby. I’m talking conceptually.

Jeff: Fine, I get the head and extremities. You can have the torso.
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12 comments :

  1. i'm guessing jeff's baby division approach was to avoid the explosive ass of the baby. because i've changed diapers. and i never want to again.

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  2. He should read King Solomon then he'll know who's baby it really is. Do you know the reference? 1 Kings 3:16-27 That oughta be a weapon in your arsenal.

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  3. your husband in hilarious!

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  4. That Jeff is a funny guy.
    I hear you. The female mind is a funny place to rattle around in. In my mind it was the same. I wonder if it's part of the maturational process, thoughts that surface to prepare us. Kinda like horny is to boys :).

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  5. Give him the part that makes the poo. Take my word on this.

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  6. To be serious, it is hard to share them. And really, they are ours. If you enter the world via my vagina-you belong to me. I will acknowledge half of the DNA is not in fact mine but I still am the supreme ruler.

    My vagina and I say so.

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  7. I'd take the part that supports me in my old age. In the meantime, Penny Lane nailed it...so to speak!

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