|Little did I know...|
Friend 1: I don't know, Bella getting pregnant seems like bullshit. I thought all of Edward's bodily fluids were replaced with venom. Doesn't that include sperm?
Friend 2: I know. And even if he did make sperm, aren't his balls like the temperature of the polar ice caps?
Maybe that's why he was so moody.
Yesterday I finally succumbed to The Hunger Games.
Only three years late, so I'm making progress. But OMG YOU GUYS. There is a reason people are freaking about about this. I opened the book as I boarded the A train at 42nd Street around 8:15, and I didn't stop until I finished it some four and a half hours later. This is better than that time I found a dog-eared copy of Flowers in the Attic at a church sale (the irony was lost on me then) and spent the next few years of my adolescence being grossed out that I was kind of rooting for the brother and sister to do it (I really hope you've read that book, otherwise I sound like a total perv).
Oh, who am I kidding, I am a total perv. Now that I've read the first book all I want to know is, do Katniss and Peeta have sex? This is what pregnancy hormones do to me. This and inspiring me to buy Twix ice cream bars at the grocery store but no actual dinner ingredients.
But seriously, who wants to read these books with me? Because I need people to talk to. Let's start a book club. It will be just like Oprah's, only instead of launching careers and influencing the zeitgeist mine will investigate whether or not Rick Springfield's memoir Late, Late At Night is composed entirely of "Jessie's Girl" lyrics.