Friday, May 20, 2011

TGI...WTF? Pajamas and Pejazzles

Two things:

1. The Jews (of which I am a member, albeit not in very good standing) have a saying, dayenu, a Hebrew word which means "It would have been enough."

So, for instance, if God had only given us rompers, dayenu. If He had decided to stop at jumpsuits, dayenu. If Pajama Jeans were the only pajama-based product deemed appropriate for humans to wear in public, dayenu.

But I guess it wasn't dayenu, because now there is this:


No, it's not a Nerds Halloween costume. That, friends, is a "OnePiece," which the British are trying to make happen (thanks to reader Summer for the tip!) And not as a wear-around-the-house adult onesie. As something you wear in the outside.

Okay, in fairness, that one is pretty fey. How about this gangsta number:


You down with O.P.? Yeah, me neither. Good luck taking a dump in that thing.

2. Remember vajazzling? I thought it would go away, too. Well, now there's pejazzling, in which men adorn their upper pubic area with Swarovski crystals. I have a few problems with this:

A. Shouldn't it be penazzling?
B. Shouldn't it actually be pube-azzling, since if we're being honest it's not really the penis itself getting this treatment?
C. This only leaves one more private area to adorn with jewels, and I personally don't want to live to see anazzling. If this means the Rapture has to come tomorrow, so be it.

P.S. Check back later today--I'll have a new post up at Aiming Low plus an interview I did with the blog Fucked in Park Slope. (It is part of a series called "Profiles in Courage." Stop laughing.)
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8 comments :

  1. Wow. That guy agreed to model that outfit?

    Times are worse than I thought.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I thought the same thing when I saw that, why wouldn't it be PENAZZLE?

    Or at least something like penisizzle.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Great post. My friends referred your blog to me. Looks like everybody knows about it, just me, until now. I'm going to read your other posts. Keep sharing. Take care.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Tracey12:39 PM

    Really it should be "balljazzle". Or, to make it more gangster in your OnePiece, "balljizzle".

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hooray, I got a shout out. I'm famous!

    ReplyDelete
  6. My problem with jumpsuits is the bathroom
    conundrum. Which I'm sure is a large part
    of most people's problems with jumpsuits.
    But I can't look at a jumpsuit without
    trying to decipher the logistics of using
    a public washroom. How do you hover while
    holding your entire outfit off the floor?
    Pants are difficult enough, but I really
    do not want the shoulder of my shirt to
    make an accidental touchdown and then be
    smelling public bathroom flooring all
    day.
    Also, my vote's with penazzling. And I agree about anazzling. If that ever happens imma create my own Rapture...

    ReplyDelete
  7. Have you seen this??

    http://www.tribal-times.com/home/2010/3/25/giant-noonie.html

    Do you think calling it a 'sealpelt' makes it more attractive, or less... and does it come with a cuddly foam club, I wonder?

    ReplyDelete
  8. Somethings wrong with the world today, eh. haha. I definitely don't love that man's colorful jumpsuit. :)

    Cheers,
    Cathy@eye chart

    ReplyDelete

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