Anyway, remember that episode of Sex and the City when Carrie gets stood up for her birthday party and there's this drunk girl at the restaurant who yelps, "25... fuck, I'm old!"? I used to think that. Now Zoe thinks that. I'm sure she's spending her birthday being vaguely depressed instead of doing shots of Jamo at a bar. In fact, I know this, because A) We LaMarches always cry at least once on every birthday, and B) Zoe is spending the day in the outer reaches of Brooklyn caring for a four month-old baby without a phone. My sentence structure kind of sucks there--I'm not saying that the baby doesn't have a phone, because obviously all newborns are now equipped with built-in Bluetooth. I'm saying that Zoe doesn't have a phone, because she left it in a cab yesterday. Which means that she can't get lovey-dovey calls on her big quarter-life birthday. Hence this lovey-dovey blog ode.
(Okay, it's not lovey-dovey yet, but I'm building to that. First I have to show you her sweet Guatemalan pants from 1988.)
See? Worth it. OMG SO CUTE. I WANT TO EAT HER FACE.
Anyway, my sister is brave and brilliant and beautiful and oh so much stronger and wiser and ballsier than I, and a perfect example of this is that she would probably kick my ass if I got too sappy in such a public forum. Another example is her giant neck tattoo:
Kidding! That's ink. She modeled for a friend's photo project. But seriously, doesn't she look bad-fuckin'-ass? And gorgeous? Like one of those Vogue models pretending to be all ethnic and Maori? Except even better because her eyes aren't blank and glassy and she's not jumping for no reason while wearing a silk romper and a fright wig?
OK, so clearly I didn't map this post out before I started. And I apologize, because my sister deserves better. But I just love her so much it makes me kind of frazzled. She's like my Fight Club power animal. She's inspires and amazes me. When she was little, she wanted to be like me (she even used to put tin foil on her teeth to approximate my adolescent braces). Now, all I want is to be more like her. (Yes, this means I'm going blonde. Look out, world!)
But seriously, please help me show her some love and join me (and The New Kids On The Block) in wishing her a very happy birthday.
I LOVE YOU, BOO. I hope that kid is doing a baby samba dance in celebration of your awesomeness.