Monday, May 2, 2011

Distressing By-Products of "Nesting," Part One

1. There is now a cardboard box in my closet marked "WIGS."
2. Knowledge that there were additional wigs that didn't qualify for the aforementioned permanent wig storage box, due to their irreparable misshapenness, or suspect stains.
3. The discovery of a sheaf of crude drawings stapled together, labeled "FOOD BOOK" in a childish scrawl, and the subsequent inner debate as to when, exactly, I had made this: age 4, or during a Hulu commercial, waiting for the Mr. Wonton delivery man?
4. Sore right butt cheek (mysterious)
5. Realization that Entertainment Weekly's Greatest Hits: 1991--unearthed inside a mint condition Jansport backpack--does not include "Finally" by CeCe Peniston.
6. Realization that CeCe Peniston, despite the promise of her spectacular name, never really did anything else.
7. The cessation of gingerly placing wigs into FreshDirect boxes in order to watch this:

Peniston: 1; Nursery: Zip.



  1. Okay, so what I'm gathering from this silence is that no one cares about a one-hit wonder with a phallic surname the day after bin Laden is killed. Noted.

  2. I, for one, found it a welcome diversion from the bin Laden hate glee. I find myself in a similar quandary: what I had planned to post today seems inappropriately frivolous, but I really got nothing to add about Osama. It's not like al-qaeda is dead, after all.

    Good luck with the nursery. And your ADD. ;-)

  3. my right butt cheek hurts too! Pregnancy is weird.

  4. Oh damn. I'm going to have to put my wigs in a box now, instead of on that closet shelf next to my only 2 Xmas-ish decorations (a winter themed bear, oddly holding a little snow covered birdhouse on a stick, and a set of 3 ceramic snow people in winter clothes)? Thankfully, you are a bit ahead of me in the small-person-growing process to alert me to my impending responsibilities.

  5. I never met anyone else with a wig collection, and now 2! Fantastic. Things to share with your wee one when he/she has a head big enough to fit.

  6. Maybe you stretched said butt cheek too far during wig sorting or other nesting activity.
    I wish I had that metallic jacket last week when I was in Vegas. Or the pants maybe.
    I can't join the "hate glee" either. My students (3rd-5th graders) had so many questions and discussing it made me just plain sad.

  7. Honey, I wouldn't care about about a one-hit wonder with a phallic surname even without the gleeful bin Laden death orgy. But I do hope your butt cheek gets better. I hear eating anything with chocolate in it will help that. ;-)

  8. Haha! I think nesting was the only thing I enjoyed about being pregant... Also, my name is Melody and I am a wig-a-holic

  9. Claudia5:11 AM

    Big Tune!

  10. Aww man this post made me want to buy a wig. Sorry about your butt cheek!


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