1. It's been a cold, rainy winter here in NYC, but more than once (more than twice, more than three times a lady) I've found myself wearing heavy rubber waterproof boots on days with bright sun and clear blue skies. I never check the weather. It's just something my brain will not abide, like calculus or being able to identify birds. So every morning I wake up, and if the sky is gray, I put on my rain boots and grab my umbrella (somehow it never occurs to me that the sky might be gray because the sun hasn't risen yet--Phi Beta Kappa is so proud). And so, a few hours later, I walk down the street trying to act like my sweater dress and wellies are a statement, like how the Olsen twins used to dress like hobos totally on purpose.
2. I say farhead instead of forehead. Jeff gives me shit about this all the time. I don't know why I do it, but in my defense, the forehead is the part of your head farthest from the ground. Well, except for your scalp, but that's really just an extension of the farhead when you think about it.
3. I can't whistle unless I suck in instead of blowing out. I literally suck at whistling.
4. I can snap the fingers on my left hand but not on my right hand. So if I need to say "Snap!" and illustrate it with a sassy hand gesture (which happens more often than you might think even though this is not 1992), the object of my display must be on my left; otherwise I have to incorporate a spin, which is an advanced move that I really don't have the ankles for.
5. Thanks to Jeff, I can now only remember his dirty joke lyrics to certain songs. Like "Blinded By the Light" ("Wrapped up like a douche, another boner in the night!") or "If You Don't Know Me By Now" ("If you don't blow me right now... you will never, never, never, never blow me... oooooh.") Technically that's his idiotsyncrasy, not mine, but it still means I can't sing karaoke when children are present.
Also: I have yet another somewhat graphic post about my ladyparts up on Aiming Low! Phi Beta Kappa is, again, SO PROUD. But on the bright side, two separate companies have offered to send me kegel exercisors (basically, vagina barbells), so I must be doing something right.