Monday, April 25, 2011

Cooking With Sassy: Sacrilegious Easter Cake

I was away this weekend, celebrating Jesus' resurrection with honey ham, so please accept this recycled--but still delicious--Easter recipe as I rush to shower and find pants that fit before I am late to work:


1. Buy frozen Sara Lee pound cake. Serve with whipped cream and strawberries.
2. Approximately 2 weeks later, gingerly lift brick-like remains of cake from aluminum container. Arrange in center of plate.
3. Using whipped cream, make a mound in the center of the cake and two football-shaped ears at the top.
4. Find raisins. There are always raisins somewhere--check your carpets and the bottom of all of your purses. Use smidges of whipped cream to affix raisins above center mound in approximation of eyes.
5. Before you put it away, dispense whipped cream directly into mouth. (Whipped cream never goes bad, plus at least you're not doing something more dangerous, like whippets.)
6. Did you bake a cake in the last three years? Then surely you have some dusty tubes of congealed icing somewhere in the pantry! Drag those suckers out, and use to make nose, eyebrows (optional), mouth and inner ear.
7. Use icing to write tender Easter message to Jesus (alternative idea: "What's up, Doc?")
8. Post on blog; horrify Catholic relatives

Serving instructions: Actually, you probably should not eat this.

Happy Easter!
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5 comments :

  1. Yay! This makes being a Heathen even more fun! (I almost wrote "Heather," which would also be fun, given that it was an awesomely cheesy movie.)

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  2. A classic!!!!!!!!!
    We have all been there in one way or another----we just never talk about it

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  3. Oh my God, you are my mother's long lost sister! What that woman could do with a Sara Lee pound cake was amazing...but she must have missed that Better Homes and Gardens issue from where you must have gotten your recipe! Too bad I can't post a pic here or I'd show you what I made her (with Sara Lee) for her last birthday. Thanks for secret smile.

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  4. Amusing.

    There are always raisins somewhere, aren't there?

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  5. Whipped cream can actually go bad, especially the real dairy kind. Several years ago, I was woken up by a weird noise, kind of a pop, couldn't figure it out. Next day I opened the fridge and immediately knew what that noise had been. There was whipped cream EVERYWHERE. The can (which admittedly was about a year old) had exploded! Such a mess!

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