|"Nice belt buckle!" "Oh, thanks... it's my fetus."|
Before I continue mocking this, let me say that I understand, on a basic level, why some people might want it. As someone who's had a miscarriage, I understand that many women have pregnancy-related anxiety that might be soothed by being able to check in on the baking bun whenever they needed reassurance that all is well. But come on, people. This is fucked up. You are subjecting your baby--not to mention your body--to constant, high-intensity sound pressure that has been shown in some cases to enhance inflammatory response and heat soft tissue. You might as well just hump a microwave, is what I'm saying. Well, you might be saying to yourself (hopefully with a finger snap), Tom Cruise bought an ultrasound machine for to use at home on his
But I'm not being fair. According to the PreVue site, the device lets family members (or bodega clerks or bank tellers) "connect with the fetus in its context." The context, I guess, being just floatin' in amniotic fluids tryin' to grow some organs! The site's illustrations are helpful in demonstrating its myriad* uses.
*R.I.P. Heather Chandler.
Like, forget playing Mozart to your belly! Why not teach your fetus how to read? After all, it's never too early to start your unborn child on the path to an Ivy League education. (Only, since the ultrasound doesn't go both ways, does she realize the baby can't actually see her book?)
Judging from the above, I'm assuming that the PreVue doubles as a delicious, steaming bowl of spaghetti bolognese that your husband can munch on in lieu of intercourse. Which is, actually, a really savvy feature.
Just make sure to read the manual, and don't under any circumstances, push "eject."