Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Humbling Realizations While Listening to iPod on Shuffle During Morning Commute

  • Before I die, I really, really want to reenact the opening scene from Adventures in Babysitting by dancing around my apartment to "And Then He Kissed Me" by the Crystals. Of paramount importance is the very first move, that arms-out shimmy Elisabeth Shue does over the opening chords. Someday, I will do a frame-for-frame remake using a Flip. I will make my future children play it at my funeral.
  • It is one of the great tragedies of my life that no men have ever battled for my heart by doing a sing-off of "Two Princes" by the Spin Doctors.
  • I still know all of the words to Madonna's B-side "Hanky Panky" from the Dick Tracy soundtrack. I know them because when I was ten I habitually roller-skated around the house listening to the song on my Walk-Man and doing saucy dance moves in the hopes of impressing the neighbor boy, whom I had a crush on.
  • I want to do an unironic, flawless hip-hop routine to Wreckx-n-Effect's "Rumpshaker," in front of anyone who has ever underestimated or wronged me. I will be wearing booty shorts and at the end everyone will slow-clap.

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16 comments :

  1. John Hughes will substitute for your St. Peter after said funeral no?

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  2. I hear you! I will do a gut-shaking rendition of "Someday" in front of all the kids who teased me for being flat in jr. high!

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  3. I enjoy your references immensely. I had completely forgotten about that number at the beginning of that movie. It was my dream to be that fantastic at some point too. Elisabeth Shue was my hero, I believe at that point. And then came along Leaving Las Vegas and Nicholas Cage and I longed for a simpler time filled with babysitting mishaps and preppy boys.

    I have long yearned to be a rock star. This does not seem like it will happen...although my three year old did ask me the other day what song I sang when I was on American Idol, without any prompting, so he's convinced...that counts, right?

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  4. I love your set-to-music fantasies. It makes me feel normal!

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  5. Personally, I would prefer to walk into some blues dive and have someone tell me "Ain't nobody leavin this place witout singin the blues." Then I would of course deliver a performance that has everyone in the bar cheering and clapping and yelling "Sing it girl!"

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  6. You must record the reenacment and post it on your blog with a vlog, of course.

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  7. I think a sing-off of Two-Princes would probably only result in me participating in my first threeway.

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  8. i so second annah's comment about posting your reenactment.
    i've always wanted to end up in a head to head rap competition and verbally run circles around my competitor. not that i actually have any background or talent to do so, but i think it would be cool.

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  9. It's like we have the same brain (& iPod). This is hilarious - thank you!

    Love your blog!

    --Kim

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  10. My sister and two of our friends did a dance number to "Rumpshaker" at her 11th birthday party. We even got matching outfits. I am SO glad that we didn't have a camcorder back then.

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  11. When I was in 7th grade the cool radio station at the time kept playing Rumpshaker non-stop, then people were calling in and requesting it like mad...it went on for like 6 hours. I can speak of one little white girl who tried shake her rump (unsuccessfully) during this time. I still try every once in a while..why won't it just shake like in the video, geez!! Sorry for the random childhood memory sharing.

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  12. I actually back up danced with a drag queen to M's "Hanky Panky". Those were the days!

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  13. I believe that dance in the booty shorts could be video taped and posted on the blog...no?

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  14. Ah I'm so glad I youtubed that, it was just the kind of 'casual/uncomfortable' misogynism I was looking for. All the depth and maturity of the hokey cokey lol.

    The slow clap returns! I love how your blog is so self aware or well thought out, awesome and funny as always!

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  15. This is a wonderful article. The things given are unanimous and needs to be appreciated by everyone.
    Cheapest Ipod

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  16. It is one of the great tragedies of my life that no men have ever battled for my heart by doing a sing-off of "Two Princes" by the Spin Doctors.
    __________
    Mary

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