I didn’t read said email, because I decided I would rather imagine what it said. My mind immediately cartwheeled into a magical world in which genitals, like computers, required technical support...
Vagina specialist: Hello, Vagina Solutions.
Man: Hello. Uh, I’m calling because... my wife’s... well, my wife’s vagina doesn’t seem to be working.
Vagina specialist: I see, sir. Have you checked to make sure it’s turned on?
Vagina specialist: I know it seems simple, but I can’t tell you how many times I’ve fielded calls like this. Can you tell me if it’s turned on?
Man: Uh... I think so. How can I tell?
Vagina specialist: There’s a button.
Vagina specialist: On most current models it's located near the anterior junction of the labia minora.
Man: Listen, pal, I’m not a real technical guy.
Vagina specialist: Sorry. It’s near the top.
Man: I... hmm. I’m gonna need more direction.
Vagina specialist: Certainly, sir. Let me transfer you to our clitoral location department.
Or, maybe, all women would receive owner's manuals at the onset of puberty, complete with helpful flow-charts!
*Except for the beaver cartoon, which I borrowed from Beaver 96.7 FM
Come on, Geek Squad... are you ready to put down the laptops and pick up some ladyparts? Vagina Solutions needs YOU.