Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Time Capsule Tuesday

Yesterday my sister emailed me a scan of a long-lost treatise (peep the fat dot-matrix font!) from a family meeting just before New Year's in 1992*.

*Otherwise known as The Year Of My Excessive Enthusiasm For Troll Dolls.

Click to enlarge the nostalgia!
My parents both vowed to be home more often (they weren't negligent in the slightest, but Zoe and I did used to sit by the window singing a song we made up titled "Daddy Come Home." For real. It was like "Somewhere Out There" but with more facial hair and less of Fievel's awesome hat.) Zoe, hilariously, had to resolve to "try to stop hitting," and also to laugh less at inappropriate times, such as, for instance, when her almost 13 year-old sister confessed to wanting desperately to go to Disney*.

(*You may recall that at age 7 my father tricked me into forgoing the Magic Kingdom in favor of Tom Selleck. In the words of Stephanie Tanner, How Rude!)

My mother's list is totally reasonable, but Zoe interprets it thusly: "Uh, I'll try not to flip a shit, but it's not even my fault, fuck the kids."


I'm just defensive because I clearly never had enough time to do what I wanted, like sing Bel Biv Devoe songs into my tape recorder, or write obscenities on my Jem doll. Obviously.


  1. Your parents seem like the bomb (yeah a little throwback for you in lieu of your posting), but I have to ask: Do Jeff's parents ever tell people that their daughter-in-law is a famous blogger or is that shit just kept under wraps?

  2. The fact that someone not only took minutes but then TYPED the minutes from your family meeting clears up some questions I had about your family.

    Also, the fact that your family had meetings...

  3. Disney World or... Land.

    Land, totally SUB PAR.

  4. Your parents parented the way I would or hope I would were I married (or not) and had kids.

    Meetings with minutes...What a hoot.

  5. OMFG Una, LOL!! Zoe's interpretation is freaking great. I wish I could find some of the dumb shit I know I wrote when I was little. Primarily the letter to Kirk Cameron's fan club. Totally scored myself an autographed headshot of the Jesus freak himself.

  6. I'm at home with a three year old all day today and was wondering how to spend the time. HELLO! We are so having a meeting! She's old enough to type up the minutes. Unfortunately she's also probably old enough to blog about said meeting. But hey, whatever kills the time.

  7. @Keeks: You flatter me. I am in no way famous, and Jeff's family is largely unimpressed by my ability to share my bodily functions and suspicions of celebrity gayness with a large group of strangers.

    @Katie: Yeah, there's a reason I have control issues...

    @Kev D: I know. But I was so starved for anything Disney, I took what I could get.

    @Recessionista: I have no idea if these meetings were regular events. I suspect not. But around the time my sister was 8, we started having more fights, so perhaps that was the catalyst?

    @Nicole: A great thing about my parents is that they saved EVERY dumb piece of shit I wrote. I could probably devote this blog entirely to scanned memorabilia.

    @Paula: You should TOTALLY have a meeting. She will thank you when she has her own blog :)

  8. Sister Zoe12:13 AM

    I'm pretty sure that was the ONLY family meeting we ever had. Also, I totally still remember all the words to "Daddy come home", lets sing it to dad and see if he'll give us $20 out of guilt. jkkk(no, seriously.)

    OH and just FYI everybody: I've still never been to the Manhattan children's museum. So maybe that's my new 2011 resolution.

    P.S. Sistah, I was 6, not 8.Do your math ;)


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