Jeff and I weren't invited to any Super Bowl (I just typed "Super Bowel," btw--ha!--which is what I'm sure many Americans are enjoying today after a few too many beers and nachos supreme) parties this year--I wonder why.
Instead we were forced to go outside and spend time in the fresh air. I guess all that oxygen got to my brain, because I suddenly had the Best. Idea. Ever.
What if the Super Bowl was played with Super Balls?
The entire game would stay the same--same giant guys in full protective gear, same number of players, same size field...except for the tiniest ball in sports--even tinier than A-Rods'!
Hear me out: They are super fast. They bounce really high. They have that delicious, slick rubbery smell that always compelled me to try to chew on them as a child. (What? Like you didn't.) They even make ones that light up inside--perfect for night games!
Sure, there would be some visibility issues, but that's what HD-TV is for. And really, the Princess and the Pea-like pileups would be well worth any trouble following which team had possession. Not to mention the field goal attempts.
And here's the kicker: The Super Bowl was named after the Super Ball. It's kismet. C'mon, NFL. Time to put your tiny balls where your mouth is.
OK, that came out wrong, but you know what I mean.
Make me proud.