The musical was Runaways. You probably don’t know it, because after a well-received eight-month run on Broadway in 1978, it never returned. A good way to describe it would be like A Chorus Line, but with emotionally disturbed, racially diverse, drug-abusing homeless children instead of dancers (and not the cute emotionally disturbed homeless children of Annie. Runaways makes Pepper and Duffy look like the Bloomberg daughters). The orchestra for Runaways included a toy piano and a triangle. It wasn’t what you might call an easy sell.
When I told my friend Kerry about the reunion, she looked confused.
“Is that the one where you played a lesbian?” she asked.
“No, this is the one where I played a sexually ambiguous street urchin,” I corrected her. In my college career, my three biggest theatrical roles were as a lesbian, a wall (yes, really--a tale for another post), and my Runaways character, “A.J.”
“A.J.” was not identified as having any specific type of genitalia. To that end, I stuffed my hair beneath a knit cap, dirtied my face with eyeshadow, and wore an outfit that might have looked appropriate on a slightly effeminate male child of the 1970s: flared jeans, neon green sneakers, a vintage New York Civil Liberties Union tee shirt, and a hoodie with a multicolored horizontal stripe across my non-breasts.
|Emoting, y'all: Watch and learn.|
Now, I consider myself a pretty competent dancer, but upon watching the tape, it became clear this was not always the case. Whatever I had in terms of coordination, I lost through the unmistakable look of abject terror and/or constipation I wore in every dance-heavy sequence. (I've pointed it out in the first screen grab... see if you can spot the rest!!!)
|In my defense, riding any type of horse, even an imaginary one, does not come naturally to LaMarches.|
|Ditto to performing tricks with basketballs, especially when it's near the vaginal area.|
|This is a hip-hop number. The flailing arms helped with bladder control.|
|Forced to jump rope onstage, this image was captured mere seconds before the projectile vomit began.|
|One of these people won a Tony. Sadly, it was not for Most Dramatic Head Grip.|
The best part of the Runaways reunion, aside from the memories and free sushi, was realizing that I look much better now than I did at age 20.
|Do your eyebrows not like each other, former self? Or are they just making a hasty retreat from your self-cut bangs?|