|Let your cat live in the lap of luxury (and/or old office supply boxes)!|
I mean, dogs are dependent and usually fairly dumb; they run on human affection. But cats? Cats are survivors. If you were to die, that would be the best day of your cat's life. Retirement home? Fuck it, they'd take over your house, redecorating as they saw fit, marking their inherited territory, finally realizing a life-long dream and using your frightening Roomba as a litter box.
(Before she died, Fifi used to habitually sit, hidden, on the second step of a steep staircase leading down to my mom's foyer. Mom said she was just "resting," but I know she was trying to trip and kill us all.)