Tuesday, January 4, 2011

I Cannot Believe I Have Been Doing This To You For Five Years

So, today marks the 5 year anniversary of my very first blog post. It was on Friendster at the time, which just goes to show that a lot can happen in five years.

According to some website called the NNCC, my blog, being a five year-old, should be able to dress itself with little assistance, cut on a line with scissors, balance on either foot for 5-10 seconds, and jump over low objects.

I know I should be proud, but instead I'm thinking, Go fuck yourself, NNCC. Sometimes I need Jeff to put on my socks. A straight line is totally subjective. I'm not the fucking Karate Kid, and the tree pose is fucking hard. Also, that ottoman was a lot taller than I thought it was, and it's easy to get caught up listening to House of Pain.

Still, happy birthday, blog. Eat your cake while mommy has a cocktail.

Remember this

Also: I have a new* post up on HuffPo.

*Not really new. It's this post, tarted up a bit. But who has any kind of long-term memory these days?

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18 comments :

  1. Congratulations, Una! Here's to five more.

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  2. I seriously thought you'd baked a cake for yourself for blogging and I was like "Man, she's smart!" :(

    You disappointed me, Una.

    But still, cocktails are usually better than cake. Usually...

    CONGRATULATIONS.

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  3. 5 Years! Very Nice!! Eat some chocolate, throw some dice,drink some wine and do declare,I can dance like Fred Astaire!! Here's Looking at You Kid! Happy Blogday!

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  4. I'm five and a half! Which means I can smack my baby brother in the head with a Breyer plastic horse while simultaneously eating a handful of peanut M&Ms, which I'm not supposed to have because I am allergic.
    Five and a half--and another trip to the emergency room.

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  5. w00t-w00t!

    Congrats! Here's to five years of sassiness!

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  6. I started blogging on LiveJournal back on August 30th, 2003. It's weird to look back and say that I've been blogging (off and on) for that long.

    On the upside, your blog is funnier than mine and has more followers (I have, like, seven). Kudos, lady! Your five year old is way more accomplished than my seven year old.

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  7. Happy days - well done

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  8. "uses swear words or "bathroom words" to get attention" ...

    Mine's only 1 and does that all the time already... does that make mine mature, or just ... "special"???

    Congrats, and keep it up!

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  9. Wow...you are quite Sassy for a 5-year old (in blog years how many is that?)

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  10. Wow. That's a great milestone. Here's to 500 more years of blogging! (it could happen. Advancements in medicine and all)

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  11. I hope there are Tootsie Rolls involved in the celebration of such an important milestone.

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  12. Happy 5th Birthday to your blog!!! I'm celebrating my first year soon:)

    (By the way, does the cake say "ANUS"? Can you please shed some light on the subject?)

    I love your blog and think about you every time I use a public washroom thanks to your rules about the "poo stall".

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  13. I would give my left neuticle for a sniff of that cake.

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  14. Claudia2:25 PM

    We share an anniversary, then. I celebrated six years with my husband on the fourth; but I did not get a cake. I feel shafted.

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  15. Congratulations! Your blog always puts a smile on my face.

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  16. Congratulations, Una! I'm raising a glass in your honor.

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  17. Five years and going strong! Congrats!!!

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  18. that's what she said

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