Do you tend to call butts "heinies"?
Would you rather see a flower or a blue ribbon or a smiley face instead of the dark and muddy opening to what is unquestionably Satan's cave?
Well, friends, you're in luck thanks to the Rear Gear shop on Etsy. It's supposed to be funny (its motto is "No More Mr. Brown-Eye") but it's also a real thing that costs $5. From the site:
"Rear Gear comes in many designs including a disco ball, air freshener, heart, flower, biohazard, smiley face, number one ribbon, cupcake, sheriff's badge, dice, and you can even make yours custom..."You can see I've highlighted "sheriff's badge," as this is my favorite. Hell, I kind of want one for myself. "I'm sorry, sir, you're not authorized 'round these parts. Move along."
The only question, really, is what the most awesome custom design would be. I think I'd go for an eye... or maybe a starfish.