Friday, December 17, 2010

TGI...WTF? Special Pants Edition

Hey guys. I've been having some blogger's block lately. I think part of it is just end-of-year exhaustion; all I want to do is commune with the couch and sob to Love Actually while eating peppermint bark. Also, my computer keeps crashing and I fly into fits of rage that can only be calmed by injections of eggnog directly into my bloodstream. Also, I've written almost 300 posts in 2010--my most prolific year yet--and as a result I've burned out and been reduced to posting photos of my stupid outfits and four year-old advent calendars. Sorry. (Incidentally, whenever I don't post for a few days I get more followers... maybe I should play hard to get more often? Or maybe you guys are rewarding me for shutting up once in awhile?)

Anyway, this is all a long-winded way of saying that I am Blanche DuBois-ing out today and  relying on the kindness of strangers--today's TGI...WTF? post is brought to you by two readers, Katie and Margaret, who emailed me links to the following terrifying products:

1. Bikini Jeans (submitted by Katie)


Now, I've worn some unfortunate denim in my day, but these cross a line. They are big in Japan, where it is apparently still 2002 and everyone is blind.

2. Peek-A-Butt* (submitted by Margaret)
*This is not the product name, but should be.


Made from what appears to be the pelt of Cheer Bear, this could conceivably be a costume in the little-known fantasy porn She-Ra, Princess of Power-Bottom.

P.S.This is the work of a 22 year-old Australian designer who may or may not be in unrequited love with a body pillow (I'm just speculating here).

P.P.S. A few years ago, I read somewhere that Brits use the word "pants" as slang, meaning "total crap." Which would make the above specimens pants pants. I love learning.
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31 comments :

  1. Both of those garments look...chilly. The second one brings to mind the question: if she farts, can you see it?

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  2. wow- I'm at a loss for words- the only thing I could think is that if I caught either of my daughters in these there would be hell to pay. lol

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  3. "Pants pants" BAHAHAHAHAH! I like it. As for the pants pants, well, I'm kind of speechless. I almost feel like I've seen the Bikini jeans before, but I have no clue where.

    PS The Peek A Butt lady looks like she has a mushroom or penis haircut, I'm just saying.

    TGIF!!

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  4. Haha! I found a pic of bikini jeans earlier this year complete w/ a tramp stamp:

    http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=457197198905&set=a.59516168905.85005.540923905

    Too hideous for words. But, of course, I found some anyway. And so did you.

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  5. Ew! I think I saw those Bikini Jeans on a very heavy lady on that People of Walmart website! I can't believe the Jersey Shore girls haven't gotten into those yet!

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  6. I don't see what the fuss is... those bikini jeans kinda look hot.

    Sorry-that was my dirty old man coming out. What I meant was, ew, gross!

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  7. less is not more....more is less...and less skin being paraded about would help keep my lunch down.....

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  8. In anyone else's hands, these would just be funny (frightening) pictures. The addition of your wit keeps us coming back for more.

    Thought you'd like my post from Tuesday... http://cherikopp.com/blog/2010/12/14/wet-spot/

    300 - wow! You gotta slow down girl or you will burn yourself out! I'll be around 125 for the year - the 2-3 per week pace seems to be manageable. While I'd love to read you everyday, I also want you to have a life.

    Happy Holidays

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  9. Wow, great! A wonderful opportunity for double muffin top. Nice. Just what we need.

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  10. My EYES! My EYES!
    Ditto on the WTF.
    Steph http://musingsofasarcasticmind.blogspot.com/

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  11. All I have to say is Love Actually is TOPS on my list of Christmas time movies!!! Tears, smiles, warming of the cockles of my heart...I am right there with you!!! And I guzzle the eggnog while watching it! HA!

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  12. and to think I was under the impression that clothing was meant to cover things up and keep you warm? WTF indeed!! LOL! ;0)

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  13. Good good laughs. Particularly "the pelt of Cheer Bear."

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  14. Being what you may call "Pleasantly plump" or if you're my grandma "fluffy", all my life- I have to say that if I could look like THAT in those horrifying jeans, I would totally wear the shit out of them. Fashion be damned.

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  15. I agree with Katie up there, that if i had that girl's ass, i'd totally wear the bikini jeans.

    Also, kudos to sobbing along with Love Actually, although my sobbing movie of choice at this time of year tends to be Home Alone... and sometimes Home Alone 2.

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  16. I think I just found the PERFECT Christmas gifts. Thanks for your help!

    lol... just kidding. seriously - those are awwfuuuul.

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  17. i love how the bikini jeans model has a belly button ring...because that completes the look

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  18. LOL! What is with the bikini pants, didn't we do that already.

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  19. On the whole 'pants' front, while visiting friends in England last year, I attempted to introduce new slang. My friend had a bad day at work - he declared that the whole day had been pants. I inquired if it could be described as 'utter pants'. He glared at me, said 'no' and turned smartly on his heel to leave the room... he came right back with booze for all of us, but I was still crushed that my slang was a fail...

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  20. RiseandShine8:06 AM

    I fail to see how one could sit down when wearing either of these. It's totally pants!

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  21. i will just say what i think whenever i read a post of yours, which is LOL

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  22. Claudia12:14 PM

    As someone (an American) who lives in the UK, I would just like to point out that pants also refers to underwear. They call pants trousers. You've got to adapt to that pretty quickly lest you get many a strange stare.

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  23. Anonymous2:17 PM

    just a side note, in England "pants" in the not slang way refers to underwear, what we call pants there are either trousers to jeans.

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  24. shame I didn't know about those sooner - I could have got some for my Mum for Christmas - now that would be worth seeing :-)

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  25. I think there are some people who think butt cleavage is the same caliber of sexy as boob cleavage. But it just seems...unsanitary.

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  26. Wow, those bikini pants look like they would be really popular in Brazil. I also wonder if Conan would give them a try...I mean now that he's tried jeggings?

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  27. I think my plumber wears the second outfit...

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  28. @TB-If she farts can you see it? LOL

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  29. Anonymous8:41 PM

    I think that those bikini jeans would definitely be a novelty item.

    The ties on the top part -- they're like begging for someone to pull on them! That's a hazard of wearing a bikini bottom.

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