Sunday, December 5, 2010

Scenes From a Marriage: Sloppy, Sloppy U.S. History

"Thanks for the sex, boys!"

Tonight, Jeff and I are going to see Bloody, Bloody Andrew Jackson on Broadway. We got the tickets for free (thanks, Dad and Lisa!), which is the only way I can get Jeff to go to a musical, even if it is full of testosterone, gore, and history.

Yesterday morning I tried to make him see the light.

Me: At least it's not Boring, Boring Millard Fillmore.
Jeff: Yeah, or Shitty, Shitty James Buchanan.
Me: Ha.
Jeff: Or Rapey, Rapey Warren Harding.
Me: Wait, what?
Jeff: Or Slutty, Slutty Calvin Coolidge.
Me: Calvin Coolidge was a slut?
Jeff: Yes, I can't believe you don't know this. He slept with his entire cabinet!
Me: Even the men?!?
Jeff: They were all men!
Me: Wait, Calvin Coolidge was gay?

Jeff erupts in laughter. I wait for it to subside.

Me: Okay, but seriously, who did Warren Harding rape?*

*Note to anyone as gullible as me: the answer, obviously, is no one. I don't want to start a scandal.
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7 comments :

  1. You should totally make Scenes From a Marriage into a comedic non fiction best seller.

    I can feel the chemistry and hilarity through the screen.
    The rest of your blog is also funny but you and the missus are sooooo sweet.

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  2. I feel as though I should research my presidents more. Happy Monday Una!

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  3. Anonymous11:02 AM

    I've been reading you for awhile now and this is my first time commenting. I saw the show about a month ago when it opened and although it was hard for me to get into ("populism yeah yeah"... wtf?!) it actually ended up being quite funny. Plus guy-liner + insanely tight pants never hurt anything.

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  4. I haven't heard of any of those guys - were they on Sesame Street ever? Or did they do cameos on Cheers or Frasier because otherwise I probably won't have seen them. I'll go on IMDB later and check them out.

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  5. i second recessionista's comment! yes yes yes. you MUST have enough scenes from a marriage to make a book by now. or you will soon. (although you may want to leave out the one involving the reverse thong...)

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  6. Oooh I'm all for making Scenes From a Marriage a non-fiction best seller!! I'd buy that book!

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  7. American history: the scandal years.

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