Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Say It With Pasties This Christmas

On the fourteenth day of Christmas (in 2006) my true love gave to me (except the other way around) a kick-ass homemade advent calendar...

Scanned in two parts: Too big for the Interwebs!!!

Enlarge to spot the following:
  • red spangled pasty!
  • Rudolph's nose job!
  • Dudley Moore!
  • Santa cursing!
  • Paris Hilton's death mask!
No, this is not my way of telling you I am pregnant. This was created in 2006, when I slept around with a lot more elves (Keebler--call me!).

But yes, that is a real photograph, and yes, in the real photograph I am flashing Jeff.

There's a name for girls like me in Santa's workshop.



  1. You're such a tease! Too funny.

  2. Oh dear lord this is so awesome.

  3. 12 Jeffs a-oggling
    11 Dudley’s drinking
    10 Santas cursing
    9 Rude elfs flashing
    8 Christmas tips
    7 Elf babies
    6 possible fathers
    5 nights in Paris………………


    4 Charlie Browns
    3 Fat Snowmen
    2 Reindeer noses

    And a Sassy in a red pastieeeeeeee

    Thanks very much – I’m here all week folks!

  4. Chrisy in Chicago2:03 PM

    Your awesomeness never ceases to amaze me! Will you be my BFF?

  5. Hahaha, I love your advent calendar! Paris Hilton dies of syphillis, who saw this coming? hahah Very merry!

  6. That is truly awesome!! and to think in 2006 the only thing I got from my man was a vacuum for Christmas...damn. LOL! ;0)

  7. Elfin baby daddies. I think I smell a reality show in the making.

  8. Both your level of creativity and elf-whoredom astound and fill me with jealousy. Well done.

  9. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA you always make me lol

  10. Mean Girls comes to mind... "Boo, you whore!" Love this.


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