Wednesday, December 1, 2010

The Sassy Curmudgeon's Holiday Gift Guide Part 3: Picture Imperfect

When Jeff and I got engaged in late 2006, we met with a wedding photographer recommended by our chosen venue. We liked his work and decided to hire him. A month or so later, Jeff answered an anonymous job ad and ended up getting hired by the same company, and so by the time we got married Jeff was working for our wedding photographer.

There were a few downsides to this--I mean, who wants their boss following them around all day when they're getting married?--but the pros far outweighed the cons, especially when Christmastime rolled around.

Since Jeff's employer took our photos, he had access to every single shot, which meant that we were privy to something most couples never get to see: the outtakes. And let me tell you, nothing is funnier than people looking busted on what is supposed to be the happiest (and, some might argue, prettiest) day of their lives.

I mean, am I right? Bish, please.

You should have seen Jeff's face when I presented him with an album of our worst wedding photos. I think he cried a little bit...

...which is a common side-effect of uncontrollable laughter.

It was probably because I looked so pretty.

Or because we were so in love...

(I'm pulling that Muppet face at the thought of seeing male genitalia for the first time in my life later that night*.)

*JK, I was so not a virgin. The sentence above was for my grandma. Let's hope this type is too small for her to read.

The face below, however, is a totally real-time reaction to being manhandled by my newly minted spouse.

I love these so much more than our posed, Prom-y photos (which had to be taken against an indoor deciduous forest exhibit since God decided to urinate on our Special Day).

I mean, thanks to these I'll never forget the moment when Jeff developed hemmorhoids cutting into our wedding cake.

(He wore a similar expression a few years later when we finally tried to eat the frozen top layer.)

So, yeah, this present pretty much ruled. To paraphrase my patron saint Ferris Bueller, if you have the means, I highly recommend making your own outtake album.

It is so choice.


  1. LOL - the picture of Jeff cutting the cake - PRICELESS. I actually laughed out loud and then remembered I was at work and shouldn't be laughing out loud at a blog.

  2. These are great! I wish i had something like this from my wedding day almost 10 years ago... Eek!

  3. there are some truly, truly hilarious pics of my husband and I from our wedding day. Some of them are on facebook, if you are ever bored and want to look at my wedding photos! hahaa.

  4. I love this. Now I wish I had mine. Haha.

  5. Fun idea! And that cake looks delicious.

  6. Your first and second photos look a lot like ALL photos of me! It's my special talent.

  7. All great, but I like the first one the best!
    Taking barbiturates on your wedding day, was NOT a good idea!

  8. That's the best idea ever. Whoever I end up marrying will certainly be all kinds of adorably awkward/random, so our outtake pictures will undoubtedly be choice indeed...

    Great pics!

  9. I cried, at my desk, at work over Jeff's cake picture.

    I'm still laughing.. and now, I have to go deal with a customer..

    These are amazing, btw.

  10. Anonymous1:01 PM

    Love these!! Much more fun to remember your wedding by!
    I hired a videographer last minute for my daughter's wedding, and he gave me the unedited version 1st which is hilarious! Oh and you DO look beautiful!

  11. I love these pictures! I just laughed so hard and this post made my day! What a great idea, I have quite a few wedding pics with what my hubs calls "Crazy Eyes"

  12. Oh these are my favorites! You guys were so lucky to see these because reality of it all (in hindsight at least) is the best!

    Great Present!

  13. Oh I love this so much! Especially that you wrote the tiny print for your grandma's sake. OMG


    You were a beautiful bride.

  14. Hilarious! It's awesome that you had that kind of access :) And love the "grandma font."

  15. I really want to get to know your cake better. I think it and me could be great friends - really good friends. do you still have its number?

  16. love this!!! hahahaha

  17. Hahaha, this is great. By the way, your wedding dress is gorgeous!

  18. Those are fun. My eldest son is getting married next September. I know, I can hardly believe my kids are that old either. I think I'll write this idea on my 2011 calendar so I don't forget to ask about having one done for them.
    My dad was a photographer and one of his friends shot my wedding. I was always happy I had ALL the photos, even though I no longer have the groom..sigh, but that's another story.

  19. OMG I'm getting married next November, and after this blog post I'm sooo looking forward to the outtakes album!

  20. Kudos on the Ferris Bueller shoutout. Nicely done! And I'll have to remember to keep the outtakes for my future wedding. They seem to represent the best parts of the day!

  21. wow these are fantastic! and i love your dress :)

    also, the verification text i have to type in below reminds me of something a lacrosse-bro would have nick-named himself at my alma mater.. simply enhances the evening

  22. ps it was "chasev"

  23. One beautiful wedding never to be forgotten: $30,000.
    One outtake wedding photo album: Priceless.

  24. Anonymous2:08 AM

    I totally agree with you. Why do wedding photo albums always look so perfect etc. I think the most interesting photos are the candid ones that crack you up. Looking back I wish we didn't toss so many away. Love the small type to avoid Grandma. That cracked me up.

  25. One of my friends made me an outtake album that looked a lot like yours. That chocolate cake looks so good, so why is Jeff making that face?

  26. One of the photos that came back from my wedding, via one of those disposables you set out on the tables, looked like it had flames licking up the sides and engulfing the man formerly known as my husband and I... I should have taken heed and went for an annulment right then and there!

  27. Great pictures! We have an "outtakes" album too - love it!

    I linked this in my Friday Five at Kate's Library.

    Have a great weekend!

  28. Oh man, I am behind on catching up on my "follows" but found myself at work with some spare time on my hands and started reading this. I laughed (silently, hey, I didn't want to get caught!) so hard I cried. Literal tears of mirth! I may have also peed my pants a little...those were some kickin' photos! :))


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