The Sassy Curmudgeon's Holiday Gift Guide Part 3: Picture Imperfect

When Jeff and I got engaged in late 2006, we met with a wedding photographer recommended by our chosen venue. We liked his work and decided to hire him. A month or so later, Jeff answered an anonymous job ad and ended up getting hired by the same company, and so by the time we got married Jeff was working for our wedding photographer.

There were a few downsides to this--I mean, who wants their boss following them around all day when they're getting married?--but the pros far outweighed the cons, especially when Christmastime rolled around.

Since Jeff's employer took our photos, he had access to every single shot, which meant that we were privy to something most couples never get to see: the outtakes. And let me tell you, nothing is funnier than people looking busted on what is supposed to be the happiest (and, some might argue, prettiest) day of their lives.

I mean, am I right? Bish, please.

You should have seen Jeff's face when I presented him with an album of our worst wedding photos. I think he cried a little bit...

...which is a common side-effect of uncontrollable laughter.

It was probably because I looked so pretty.

Or because we were so in love...

(I'm pulling that Muppet face at the thought of seeing male genitalia for the first time in my life later that night*.)

*JK, I was so not a virgin. The sentence above was for my grandma. Let's hope this type is too small for her to read.

The face below, however, is a totally real-time reaction to being manhandled by my newly minted spouse.

I love these so much more than our posed, Prom-y photos (which had to be taken against an indoor deciduous forest exhibit since God decided to urinate on our Special Day).

I mean, thanks to these I'll never forget the moment when Jeff developed hemmorhoids cutting into our wedding cake.

(He wore a similar expression a few years later when we finally tried to eat the frozen top layer.)

So, yeah, this present pretty much ruled. To paraphrase my patron saint Ferris Bueller, if you have the means, I highly recommend making your own outtake album.

It is so choice.

The Sassy Curmudgeon's Holiday Gift Guide Part 3: Picture Imperfect