Jimmy Dean Is Not My Lover

This is a compensated review by BlogHer and Jimmy Dean, however the opinions and feelings expressed here are my own.

Well, he kind of is. I’ll get to that in a sec.

First, though, can we talk about the fact that it’s almost 2011? That the second decade of the new century is officially in full swing? That a child born in 2000 would now be able to understand quadratic equations? That Two and a Half Men is entering its eighth season? EIGHTH?! It’s blowing my mind, man. It’s also reminding me that it’s time for the time-honored (and, likely, dreaded) tradition of New Year’s resolutions.

If you’re anything like me, your resolutions probably center around the hope that you will to do something--anything--better next year. Eat better. Exercise more. Spend less time looking at shirtless photos of Ryan Reynolds. Anyway, I’d wager a guess that approximately 99.9% of the female population focuses their efforts on diet and exercise. The fantasy that we will all someday happily subsist on grapefruit slices and steamed salmon while flexing our perfectly toned triceps unites us in sisterhood, like bra-burning... or DSW fire sales.

As frequent readers of this blog know, I enjoy a diet based largely on wine and the types of candy likely to remove fillings. You also know that my fitness regimen consists of wearing orthopedic-looking sneakers that purport to burn my buns, and occasionally trotting out my Pilates magic circle, doing pliés during Gossip Girl commercials until it inevitably springs from my knees and flies across the room and breaks something.

No more!

In 2011 I’m committed to making better choices--choices that make me feel better. And that’s where my new lover Jimmy Dean comes in.

Do you know what I eat for breakfast on a normal day? Coffee. Yup, just a cup of steaming acids mixed with half and half and filled with enough Splenda packets to choke a Clydesdale. It’s not that I don’t want to eat breakfast--in truth, it’s my favorite food group--it’s just that after I sit down at my desk with my coffee and start my work, I forget. And then it’s lunchtime, and I’m starving. I’m jittery and irritable, and so hungry I lunge at the nearest cheeseburger.

This morning I threw an egg white, cheese, and Canadian bacon sandwich on a honey wheat English muffin into my purse as I ran out the door. Yes, threw. It was easy. It was frozen. It was a Jimmy Dean D-Lights product (visit the official site). Did you know Jimmy Dean made things other than sausage patties? Well, he does, and they’re amazing. This baby clocked in at 230 calories and a whopping 15 grams of protein, with only 4.5 grams of fat. It was ready after two minutes in the microwave and it looked--and tasted--better than any deli breakfast sandwich I’ve ever had.

Egg McMuffin be SO JEALOUS right now.

[Play "Dreamweaver" while looking at this photo for full effect. Except instead of "get me through the night," think "get me through the morning." Which is not as sexy, but whatevs.]

And it’s funny: eating a healthy breakfast made my day better, instantly. It made me feel like I’d won a small battle before I’d even checked my email (where, trust me, many more battles awaited). Plus, I got to eat bacon. Bacon! What isn’t made better by bacon? Nothing, that’s what.

Now that I have the breakfast thing down, I just have to follow through on my other resolutions. Like taking more time to relax and de-stress with yoga and walks in the park. Like turning off the TV and (reluctantly) shutting down the laptop and cracking open a novel. Like backing away from the topless photos of Ryan Reynolds and cuddling up to my real, live husband, who had the good sense never to get involved with Scarlett Johansson in the first place.

How are you going to change your habits for the better this year? Leave a comment sharing your goals and you’ll be eligible to win a $100 Visa gift card courtesy of Jimmy Dean D-Lights! Isn’t that, ahem, delightful? I’m also going to pun a lot more in 2011. Deal with it.

Here are the rules for the Better Breakfast, Better You giveaway, which lasts from today (12/28) to 1/30/11 (check out the sweepstakes round-up page over at BlogHer to see what other bloggers are saying):

No duplicate comments. You may receive two (2) total entries by selecting from the following entry methods:

a) Leave a comment in response to the sweepstakes prompt on this post

b) Tweet about this promotion and leave the URL to that tweet in a comment on this post

c) Blog about this promotion and leave the URL to that post in a comment on this post

d) Read the official rules for alternate form of entry. (Visit the Official Rules)

This giveaway is open to US Residents age 18 or older. Winners will be selected via random draw, and will be notified by e-mail. You have 72 hours to get back to me, otherwise a new winner will be selected.

Jimmy Dean Is Not My Lover