Sunday, December 19, 2010

The Bringing of The Wings

Every year on the Saturday night before Christmas, my mother throws a big holiday party. And every year, it is my job to bring the wings.

I pick them up at Wing Wagon on Flatbush Avenue--100 wings: 50 mild, 50 hot--and march the 8 blocks or so to my mom's house carrying them as if presenting a gift to a visiting dignitary. There is no other way to do it; they weigh about 20 lbs, and so I carry them with my forearms, palms upturned.

I'm like the Angel Gabriel, but with hot sauce.

(Incidentally, the Annunciation might have gone even better had the Annuncer (?) thought to bring snacks.)

Last night, when I finally arrived at the party, I made little signs to distinguish the trays: "Tender and Mild (like the baby Jesus)" and "Hot & Spicy (like Santa)."

I was going to say "Hot & Spicy (like Satan)," which would have made more sense, but I think it would have have dampened the holiday cheer.


  1. Spell check always wants me to change "Santa" to "Satan", so... maybe your guests assumed you meant Satan but spelled it incorrectly.

  2. Chicago anon.11:12 AM

    Wow, Una, until your post, I never considered the similarities between Santa and Satan; both contain the letters A A N S & T; Both dress in red and have distinctive head gear; Both have cloven hooves associated with their story; Both enter into spoken or unspoken contractual arrangements with some of our more vulnerable populations (Satan with the desperate and Santa with the kids) for material gain; Both reside in places that are temperature extremes, isolated and no one we know has ever seen; Both often frighten little children...

  3. heh. i totally would've eaten those satan ones. i mean, come on - it could've been a legitimate spelling error, right? plus, who wants to think of a 'spicy' fat man being hot (+sticky) when they're eating wings? the holidays are weird...

  4. For us, it's egg rolls. I mean really, aren't egg rolls what christmas is all about?

  5. "the angel gabriel with hot sauce"
    pretty much just made my day, which is tough competition with my 80's boldly flowered sweater.

  6. Now I'm craving some wings. Haven't had any in a while (that's what she said). That last one was for you...Merry Christmas!

  7. This makes a fabulous visual, especially when you factor in the snapshot of you in your cold-weather garb from the other day! I also like to picture slushy sidewalks and snowflakes falling. :)

  8. I helped my mom wrap gifts from Santa for my younger sister one year. I was so proud until she held it up and said "From Satan?" She was a bit distraught!

  9. Maybe Santa and Satan are twin brothers - that's why they want to know if you've been naughty or nice?

    LOVE the phrase 'the bringing of the wings' - it would fit in so nicely in the Holly and the Ivy... 'The bringing of the wings, the running of the nose, the playing of the merry Monopoly, and Satanic 'Ho ho ho's'


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