Sunday, November 21, 2010

Perhaps It Can Be Served With Cock Au Vin?

When I was in 9th grade, I had a mousy social studies teacher who displayed absolutely no sense of humor, and who one day decided to read aloud to us from some story involving roosters.

Only she didn't say rooster. She said cock.

To a roomful of fourteen year-olds.

The first time she said it I forced the giggles back down into my throat, but she kept saying it, over and over, almost like she was testing us on purpose (which she must have been, because since when do roosters figure prominently in American history?)

I lost it around the third cock.

(I don't think I need to tell you that that's what she said.)

Anyway, my teacher was quite disappointed in us. "I expected more maturity from you," she said, fixing me with a sour stare.

I hadn't thought of her in years until yesterday, when my sister bought me a gift:

Yup, still hilarious. It's good to know my inner fourteen year-old is alive and well.

P.S. How many copies do you think Cock Soup For the Teenage Soul could sell? I think a lot.


  1. Oh my gosh, I just saw this stuff at the grocery store a week ago and posted subsequent pictures on facbook. The best part was asking my dad if he had seen my pictures of cock soup on facebook. My inner fourteen year-old is alive and well, too.

    The best thing about this is that Grace also makes chicken noodle soup packets, so on some level they are actually differentiating between the cock flavored and chicken flavored soup.

  2. Too funny!

    My Dad's boss was visiting from Germany and my parents invited him to their condo up in the White Mountains so he could ski. They were in a crowded grocery store when he shouted down the aisle "Oh, look! Fresh rosemary! This will taste wonderful with the cock!"

  3. When I lived in South Korea, I was at a gas station and was given - I kid you not - a package of "Wank Passion Tissues." Just what did they think I did in the car??

  4. Anonymous11:55 AM

    Enjoyed the giggle down memory lane - brought me right back to 7th grade health when they used the proper names for vagina and penis. Still funny today 30 years later.

  5. I think this would make a wonderful Christmas gift for my in-laws.

  6. Mmm, cock-flavored, my favorite! Why would a teacher test her class like that?

  7. What I like most is that not only is this "Cock Flavoured Soup" but it is also "spicy."

  8. She had to know! Didn't she?
    One of my prized kitchen items is a can of "Spotted Dick." I'll never eat it, but it sure looks good sitting in the cupboard...

  9. my teenager is still alive as well.that is funny.and what ross browne said in comments was funny to.oh lord they come up with the weirdest things

  10. Anonymous7:00 PM

    May your inner 14-year-old live long and prosper. And if it wants to be blood sisters with my inner 14-year-old that would be totally rad.

  11. Spicy cock no less. I'm hysterical.
    I AM the teacher. Last week I let them out for recess and many of them took various balls out with them...basketballs, kickballs, wiffle balls, beach balls. I gave the 5 minute warning, followed 5 minutes later by "It's time to go in, grab your balls..." We spent the rest of the afternoon giggling upon eye contact.

  12. I posted this exact picture on a fail-blog post I did a few months're right, still freakin' hilarious.

    Pat, I want to know what exactly a can of Spotted Dick is?? Do I?

  13. Anonymous11:23 AM

    Just passing through... smiling... thank you.

  14. I am definitely not mature enoug for things like cock flavored soup mix. Once during an education lecture (I'm in the process of trying to become a middle school teacher), the woman speaking referred to kids as "tweeners" and I snorted laughing. Seriously? Tweeners? Sounds too much like wieners. She asked for it.

  15. Ahhhh, thank god it is not just me and the other half who found this phallic soup hilarious also! He came home with it about a year ago wetting himself laughing, and it remains in our cupboard as we cannot bring ourselves to eat it. I am actually considering framing it. (We live in the north of England too, so that cock gets around.)


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