9 out of 10 podiatrists agree: You are a dumbass.
Last night when I couldn't sleep, I thought a lot about the fact that Cinderella wore glass slippers...aka glass high heels. Whose fuckin' idea was that? That sounds like a good way to impale the soles of your feet at a big fancy party. I have broken stacked wooden heels; of course you broke your glass slipper, bitch. Your shoe was made of GLASS. It'd have to be really tough glass... and she'd have to weigh like 65 pounds. And have you ever worn shoes with clear plastic in them? Don't. Clear shoes make feet look like baby pig fetuses stuffed into jars half their size. We are disregarding the pumpkin carriage etc., as that has some practicality. Though it's gross to make tiny shirts for the rodents that live in your room.
Have I brightened your day? I will cover Sleeping Beauty and the ease of avoiding spindles tomorrow. ;)