But yesterday I noticed that people were Tweeting advice to their 16 year-old selves, and I couldn’t resist.
(Note to my future children: These also apply to you.)
-Are you milking a cow? Are you painting a house? No? Then take off the overalls. If Angela Chase couldn’t rock them, no one can.
-The boy you want to go to prom with is gay.
-Speaking of prom, do not wear this much makeup. Twilight is still 10 years away.
Best part of this photo: The fact that my head is perfectly aligned with the vaginal opening of my mother's artwork behind me.
-Also speaking of prom, try not to spend the entirety of the after-party in a hammock drinking Peach Schnapps. This may seem like a no-brainer, but wait until you’ve had three Zimas in the limo.
-Which reminds me, don’t drink Zima. It’s the alcoholic equivalent of Crystal Pepsi and you’re better than that.
-Consider rethinking your Billy Joel yearbook quote.