We never got around to writing said book (although we did think of it, so technically it's perfectly in keeping with our plan), but we made a Twitter feed... that we kept up for about a month:
I've spent past year, since my last great idea, for the ThuttBuster, hoping that inspiration would strike once again.
Well, friends, that day has come.
Dear Delta Airlines,
I have an awesome idea. An idea that will make you bajillions of dollars. And I am writing it down now so that you can’t steal it from me.
Hire Delta Burke as your spokesperson.
You heard me.
Suzanne Sugarbaker will be your version of the Old Spice guy. It will be more viral than John Mayer after a weekend in Vegas.
All you have to do is put Delta on a nearly flat plain of alluvial deposit between diverging branches of the mouth of a river (a delta--get it?) and have her say something funny.
Like, “I’m on a delta. Now I’m on an ill-conceived 1992 sitcom that is totally a rip-off of Reba. Now I’m back on Delta--the plane, not the riverbed. It’s a lot cleaner. And I can watch my favorite show--you’d think it would be Designing Women, but actually, it’s Ice Road Truckers.”
I know what you’re thinking. Delta had some plastic surgery lately and now she kind of looks like Connie Chung. But to that I say, first of all, this woman married Major Dad. The fact that you question her decision-making is offensive. Also, there have been rumors that she’s going to guest star on Modern Family, so you’d better snap her up before she blows up.
DO IT NOW, DELTA!!!! Do it before JetBlue gets wise and hires Joan Jett and Corbin Bleu! (Which, by the way, I also thought of first, suckas.)