November is National Novel Writing Month, for some reason.
(I'm thinking the reason is that the inventor of National Novel Writing Month was unemployed and had just been gifted a typewriter and a wheelbarrow full of amphetamines.)
The shorthand used on Twitter is NaNoWriMo. It sounds like a new hybrid neighborhood with airport bathroom-sized studio apartments that rent for ten times my annual salary.
Having fired off my final Project Runway recap just as November began, I had grand plans to celebrate my newfound freedom by banging out a novel in 30 days.
Who cares that I have a stressful full-time job and that I've never successfully written fiction, unless you count When Cathy Learned Sign Language?
Who cares that my wheelbarrow of amphetamines has been peculiarly replaced with a refrigerator filled with eight different kinds of mustard but no chocolate, no matter how many times I open and close the door?
Who cares that I have a blog to feed, and a husband to pester, and abdominal exercises to think about doing?
(These questions are meant to disorient you so that you pay no attention to the fact that I haven't really started my novel yet.)
(I have a sentence.)
(The "iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii" is an accident but I'm totally putting it towards my final word count.)
Maybe November can be National NO Writing Month, and December can be when I get shit done.
(Bonus: The acronym stays the same.)
*Okay, I just Googled it, and apparently "domo arigato" means "thank you very much" in Japanese. Therefore I'd like to stress that the title of this post is sarcastic.