Wednesday, November 17, 2010

The Critic

I'm still sick, and don't have the strength to summon another stream-of-consciousness post (although I will tell you what is blowing my mind right now: Nermal from Garfield is a MAN, and he's 31 years old. The more you think about it the creepier it gets...) so instead, please enjoy these movie reviews I wrote for The Observer this week, filling in for our critic Rex Reed.

I saw The Next Three Days and Made in Dagenham. They wouldn't let me into Harry Potter because I'm not important enough, which is probably for the best as I haven't read past book two (I KNOW) and thus couldn't tell my ass from my Azkaban. (As Dorothy Parker might have said had she lived today, "You can lead a horcrux to culture but you can't make her think.")


The best movie review I ever wrote is still the one on I Know Who Killed Me. (Stigmata? I don't even know her!... sometimes I slay me.)


  1. Thanks a lot. Your disturbing Nermal revelation is going to keep me up for days. Creepy indeed.

    Does Garfield still love lasagna and hate mondays?

    Garfield Minus Garfield is still one of teh funniest webcomics I have ever seen.

  2. Wait a second...Nermal is a BOY kitten??? What the heck???

    This is how I felt when I discovered that Becky Slater and Winnie Cooper are actually sisters in real life. My world is spinning out of control!!!

  3. am i the only one who got superexcited thinking that you were going to tell us you were sick in bed (i wouldn't be happy about that... keep reading) watching the complete series of the critic? because I. LOVE. THAT. SHOW.

    see? i'm not superexcited that you're sick in bed. i was superexcited thinking that you might be using your sick time to watch the critic.

    ALSO. nermal has always been creepy. i hate that fucker.

    1. Anonymous9:29 AM

      I hate YOU for hating my beloved Nermal!! WHAT DID NERMAL EVER DO TO YOU!!! LEAVE HIM ALOOOOONNNNNEEEE!!!

  4. Do you remember the episode of the critic where Sherman's son lost all that weight and the girls in his class watched him from the window while he drank his Diet Coke for lunch?

  5. Wow. I don't know of and haven't seen any of those things. But I am sorry to hear you've been ill.

  6. feel better soon

    off to see if the critic is on netflix

  7. "Couldn't tell my ass from Askaban" aren't alone, most of us couldn't either!
    This was short, sweet, and fuuuunnny!

  8. OMG! I never knew that Winnie Cooper and Becky Slater were sisters in real life. I guess I'm glad I didn't, I think it would have been distracting. I adored that show.
    I was just going to comment that the guy who directed Made in Dagenham also directed Calendar Girls, a very fun story and beautifully photographed movie, a little gem I came across and loved.


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