I'm still sick, and don't have the strength to summon another stream-of-consciousness post (although I will tell you what is blowing my mind right now: Nermal from Garfield is a MAN, and he's 31 years old. The more you think about it the creepier it gets...) so instead, please enjoy these movie reviews I wrote for The Observer this week, filling in for our critic Rex Reed.
I saw The Next Three Days and Made in Dagenham. They wouldn't let me into Harry Potter because I'm not important enough, which is probably for the best as I haven't read past book two (I KNOW) and thus couldn't tell my ass from my Azkaban. (As Dorothy Parker might have said had she lived today, "You can lead a horcrux to culture but you can't make her think.")
The best movie review I ever wrote is still the one on I Know Who Killed Me. (Stigmata? I don't even know her!... sometimes I slay me.)