But TB doesn't have any puppies in her (that I know of), and I'm still totally excited. So she's clearly awesome. But, as the wise Levar Burton famously said, you don't have to take my word for it...
Does anyone remember that episode of Friends where Ross and Rachel had a list of five celebrities they would allow one another to sleep with, if the opportunity should arise? Well, fresh off of watching the rerun of this episode, sometime in 1999, the hubby and I got to thinking what a great idea this was. The conversation went something like this:
Him: You know, I wouldn’t consider it cheating if you slept with, say, Brad Pitt, because I would probably even sleep with Brad Pitt if I had the opportunity.
Me: I know what you mean. Let’s do this!
High fives ensued.
We pondered our choices for a while, discussing the finer points of Nicole Kidman’s skin and Taye Diggs’s abs. When it was all settled, each of our lists looked something like this (keep in mind this was 1999):
We were very excited about our choices! I mean, we didn’t write out lists and laminate them or anything, but every time we saw one of these celebrities on TV or in movies, we would be sure to remind the other that he or she was on “the list”.
Fast forward one year to 2000, when we moved to Los Angeles. I was going half-assed about becoming an actress and the hubby was working at Sports Club/LA, where we got a free membership.
So, apparently these “celebrities” are, like, real people. Who knew, right? A free-pass-for-sex list is really only fun when you don’t ever encounter the people on it. Or, at least, that was the case for the hubby. Everywhere we went, we seemed to run into someone on my list. Chris Klein jogged past me one night as I was waiting for the hubby to get off work. Jerry O’Connell lifted weights while I cross-trained on the elliptical. I struck up a conversation with Mark Wahlberg one evening about his Bob Marley tattoo.
The hubby got fed up seeing all these “list guys” everywhere and declared our lists invalid:
Him: I declare our lists invalid!
Me: What? You can’t do that! That’s not fair!
Him: Jerry O’Connell walked by me in the gym today and I bumped into him on purpose, just to see if he’d be pissed off so I could start a fight with him. It’s driving me crazy.
Me: So, just because these guys are around now, I can’t have my list anymore?
Me: That’s not fair! You may run into one of the girls on your list too.
Him: Yes, but what I didn’t realize when we made these lists is that YOU could actually get one of these guys. I, on the other hand, could never get any of the girls on my list.
Me: You don’t know that. Plus, it’s your own fault if you chose girls who were out of your league.
Him: That was the whole point of the LIST! Plus, it’s way harder for a guy to get a girl to have sex with him than it is for a girl to get a guy to have sex with her.
He had a point. So, out of respect for our marriage, the list was then and there declared null and void (even though it really wasn’t fair).
So, I never got to have sex with Jerry O’Connell. Sad, I know. I guess the moral of this story is that you shouldn’t really have a list like this if it could ever come to fruition for only one of you.
A few years ago, the hubby was called out of town (we live in Kansas now) to work at the NBA All-Stars game. As the event was going on, he called me, all in a tizzy:
Him: Oh my GOD! Alyssa Milano is here and she’s sitting like fifteen feet from me right now.
Me: Oh!! She’s so pretty!! How does she look?
Him: She looks great—she’s hardly aged since Who’s the Boss. Wow.
Me: Wait…wasn’t she on your list?
Him: Oh yeah…she WAS on my list! Boy, it’s a good thing for you that I declared those things null and void.
Me: Psh. You would never have the balls to talk to her anyway. Why don’t you go ahead? You have my permission. I hear she likes guys with tattoos, so you’re in! Find out what she’s doing afterward.
Him: I have to go work.