Monday, September 27, 2010

The Pursuit of Hapenis

Jeff was napping last night when I asked him what I should write about for today.

"I don't know," he said, rolling over. But a few seconds later, he shouted, "Penises!"

It's Monday morning, though. Too soon for cock jokes, that's what my mom always says.

Kidding! My mom didn't say that.

I think it was the Dalai Lama.

Anyway, since I can't in good conscience follow Jeff's advice, what can I blog about?

Maybe artistic shadows cast by a bridge as the daylight hours wane...

Or delicious gummi candy in unique architectural shapes...

Or the world as seen simply, through a child's eyes...

Or maybe something educational on invertebrates (God knows this blog could use some IQ points)...

I should get double points for this one because it says "bone" in the title. 

Happy Monday, guys. And remember, as my blog buddy and crafty momma Robin says,

(Check out Robin's Etsy store, where you can buy the above card and many, many others that will amaze your friends and horrify your conservative relatives.)

Oh, and Jeffy? You're welcome.

Most images grabbed from the aptly-named blog We Have Bananas.



  1. OMG! You're too funny!


  3. That's so clever... made me smile on a Monday morning, you must be magical.

  4. I wish my mother would learn that it's always too early for cock jokes when they come from her.

    Icepick induced deafness or homicide.

  5. This is easily the funniest thing I've read in AGES! I was hoping that my verification words would be something appropriatly naughty-sounding, but Blogger's gone all prudish on me.

  6. Ley's play the "Penis Game." Okay, I'll go first. PENNNNISSSSSS!!!! Now it's your turn.

    Those lighthouse gummies are cute. Do you think all of these things that look like penises were intentional? Like the cover of the Little Mermaid VHS?

  7. thank you for including me in this cock post, Una. Everybody needs a hapPenis card in their life.

  8. OMG, this is hilarious. Thanks I needed a laugh like that. Also, I totally thought that the shadow picture was carpet with penises on it at first. It took me a couple of tries to figure out what it was. :D

  9. Funny stuff! And what a great way to start the week off with a bang.

  10. Thanks, guys, I'm glad you appreciate my incredibly puerile humor.

    Also, my family totally still has the old Little Mermaid VHS with the hidden erection! Is it sad that that's probably the most valuable potential eBay item I own?

  11. The Dali Lama believes that sex in the daytime is sexual misconduct.

    Maybe inner peace is only achieved in the moonlight.

  12. In a slightly connected thought, have you ever played the Vagina Game? Substitute "vagina" for one word in a movie title.
    Vagina, Let Me Go (for the newly released "Never Let me Go")
    Honey I Shrunk the Vagina.
    Creature from the Black Vagina
    The Vagina that Ate Manhattan
    :) endless hours of fun. Somehow it doesn't work as well with 'penis.'

  13. You are funny. Just the other day as I walked on my college campus looking down at all of the chalk announcements, I thought to myself
    "Self, you really should have taken a picture of the spray painted, penis art that used to point the direction to the student union."
    It would fit your post perfectly.

  14. Eeeeeeeheeeheehee! Penis! I love those pictures. Gummy lighthouses? Seriously?

  15. This is brilliant!! Especially the scissors one..because it just shows how naiive children are - amazing!


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