Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Lost Cosby? A Pop Culture Proposal

I'm a little bit obsessed with 80s TV parents. I admit it. But with Sister Act being made into a Broadway musical (I shit you not) and the new 90210 slutting it up all over the CW like it's trying to slip America some U4EA to make us forget about the CLEARLY SUPERIOR ORIGINAL, I'm starting to feel like nothing is sacred. So I go to my happy place, which happens to be the Huxtable residence.

Seriously, this is my vision of heaven:

In heaven I will look good in all hats.  

I know Bill Cosby is a sad sexual deviant now and Phylicia Rashad's last long-term TV gig was Touched by an Angel, but I am convinced that humanity will be saved if we can just get them back on prime time together. I know I already pitched my amazing documentary series/reality competition, My Twelve Dads, but here's my no-fail, ratings-bating sitcom idea:

Imagine, if you will, a retirement community in Florida. A cul-de-sac of bungalows. Who lives there? Well.

Heathcliff and Clair Huxtable, condo landlords, who spend their time bickering and scheming to get their youngest daughter, Rudy, to marry childhood BFF Kenny, aka "Bud," now a successful Internet entrepreneur.


Stephen and Elyse Keaton, who make and sell organic baked goods, and operate a "medical" marijuana business on the sly out of their garage.


Jason and Maggie Seaver, all milquetoast banter and buoyant hair, who've recently found Jesus thanks to their son Mike.


Dan and Roseanne Connor, who retired off of the profits from The Lanford Lunchbox and now collect and sell vintage bikes.


Tony Micelli and Angela Bauer, who own a local nightclub, Mona's, that caters to Boca's elderly cougar population. 


Balki Bartokomous and Larry Appleton, who provide comic relief when they constantly get mistaken for lovers. (Balki runs a local aerobics studio, "Dance of Joy," while Larry takes Anne Geddes-like portraits of cats.)


...and Donna and Troy Garland, who struggle to hide Troy's alien status from the government so that they can collect Social Security... and struggle with their sex life after years of Troy not having an actual penis (watch for a close encounter between Donna and Cousin Larry during Sweeps Week!)


Hollywood -- call me!

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30 comments :

  1. Holy Crap. I'd watch that. Religiously.

    Seriously, that would make me re-think my 'no-cable' policy.

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  2. i would so watch this with a pint of ice cream and my six cats

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  3. I don't even try to hide it anymore- every day I read your blog at work and LOL! And today I totally lost it!! The Keatons and Balki/Larry (I tried to make a portmanteau there but got nothing) were completely hilarious!! You are, indeed, the woman.

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  4. Haha! I'd watch it.

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  5. I don't want to burst your bubble... but didn't we learn on the series finale of Roseanne that Dan was dead?

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  6. With special guest appearances by Michael Taylor and Joey Harris from My Two Dads?

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  7. i. would. watch. this.

    i would watch the FUCK out of this. seriously. i can't believe no one has picked this up. what you need to do is get some friends to actually act out an episode as those characters. then pitch that to the networks.

    because this is television we need to see.

    http://justanotherwastedday.blogspot.com

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  8. Betsy9:25 AM

    I want to go to there.

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  9. I would DVR the hell out of this show. I would be even MORE excited if you added Graham and Elizabeth Lubbock to the list of residents!

    http://www.bestweekever.tv/bwe/images/2008/07/14261Just_Ten.jpg

    Graham Jr. and Harvey have flown the coop, but the girls never gave up on their dream of stardom! The Lubbock Babes, consequently, are still living at home with Coach in-between gigs at bars whose patrons appreciate nasally renditions of golden oldies and show tunes set to a backing track.

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  10. This is the greatest idea EVER.
    Some network needs to snap you up and pay you big bucks pronto!!
    ps. Can Steve/Stefan Urkel make guest appearances?

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  11. Amazing.

    The only thing I might add would be a degenerate time jumping bad boy, Sam Beckett, jaded due to experiencing the worst series finale in the history of television that shows up each week with a new woman from a different decade.

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  12. Love it. But I'm begging that you find a way to work in Jo, Natalie, Blair, Tootie (still on skates), and the flouncy-haired Ms. Garrett. And maybe even Gerri, the recurring guest cousin to Blair.

    This was very inspiring.

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  13. Yes, yes, yes and yes and YES!!
    I would start watching tv again for these.

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  14. Will this show be on satellite? I miss the Cosby's the most too. "rudy huckleberry.. rudy huckleberry"

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  15. Excellent ideas! And BT Dubs, yesterday I spent five hours watching a marathon of The Cosby Show on BET. The only drawback being that I began seriously considering signing up for blackpeoplemeet.com by the end of it.

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  16. I like everything you said here but don't get the reference to Mr. Cosby's sad sexual deviance. Have I missed something?

    Other than that, this fabulous and I think you pegged the Keaton's dead on. I love it.

    Get some people. People who have other people who know people.

    Make this happen. The people need it.

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  17. Love it! And I thought I was the only one who remembered Out of This World! That's a show that should come back.

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  18. I'll only watch if you throw in a little Joey Lawrence action as a failed actor/musician who has settled on a life of handyman work for these people. He will also frequents Mona's...

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  19. Down with Kenny!

    Up with Peter!

    http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_hBbhwPjG_EI/S-i33kUCrgI/AAAAAAAAAKI/waw35aOiIFI/s1600/peter+costa.jpg

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  20. That is a ridiculously brilliant idea O.o

    As a side note, my verification word today is tator... I'm now craving little potato tots.

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  21. Cosby Show seasons 1 to 3 still hold up. Those other shows, not so much.

    Saw Cosby last year in Montreal, still funny as hell.

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  22. I'm not sure if you realize the epic moment you caused me just now: reading this list while listening to "Imagine"...you may say I'm a dreamer indeed

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  23. I think this might be the first original idea I've heard of for a TV show or movie in a long, long time. I would totally watch this show!

    And I forgot about "Out of This World." Thanks for the reminder!

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  24. This concept has Emmy written all over it! Stick in Scott Baio and Willie Aames as the bumbling local au pairs and we're in business.

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  25. man, what a way to start a hungover morning. amazing! and as an added bonus, a U4EA shoutout.... "i tried to get angry, but the drug had already taken effect!" genius.

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  26. As a kid, we didn't have a TV 'til around the time Roseanne started airing, so I never really saw any of the other shows, but just the fact that Dan and Roseanne are in your hypothetical sit-com would be enough for me to watch every week! (In fact, I just took a break from my usual morning of History International to enjoy a Roseanne marathon on Oxygen.)

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  27. Toni Allen5:10 PM

    Also, check your email, cuz your auto-response says you don't do that very often.

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  28. Love this! Thank you for including the Garlands! I still fantasize about being able to stop time in the middle of the work day so I can take a nap!

    This is part of my Friday Five this week.

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