Tuesday, September 28, 2010

If Wishes Were Horses Testicular Atrophy (or, Like Father, Like Daughter)

This weekend, my dad says, he went to the New Museum on the Bowery. Apparently there was an exhibit by a Brazilian artist named Rivane Neuenschwander called “I Wish Your Wish.” Hundreds of colorful ribbons emblazoned with one-sentence wishes--ranging from the tongue-in-cheek to the heartbreakingly sincere--hung from the walls.

Dad picked, "I wish I could perform with an African-American church choir."

(He seriously does. He had to live vicariously through me in college, when I was a member of the Ebony Singers. Yes, really. Stop laughing! Why y'all gotta waste my flava? Damn.)

Anyway, once you took a wish, you were supposed to write one on a piece of paper and place it back in the hole.

My dad, a lifelong civil rights and social justice advocate, wrote: "I wish Newt Gingrich's balls would fall off."

See? It's not my fault I'm like this.

P.S. Dad has been writing a mini-memoir on his blog this month. Go read it or your balls will might fall off*.

*I say might, Newt, because I don't know how powerful the juju of those ribbons is.**

**But Neuenschwander apparently means "new land cleared of forest," which sure sounds like a euphemism for castration--or, at least, a bikini wax--to me.


  1. Your dad is a great man!!

  2. i think that sounds like a really cool exhibit. i love interactivey things like that.

    also. your dad sounds pretty fucking full of the awesome. it's no wonder you turned out as abnormal as you did. and i mean that in the best, most complimentary way possible.


  3. I liked the church choir ribbon, too. The others were rather cliche and corny, but just as I was about to leave, disappointed by the fact that no one had bothered to wish for anything fantastical or fun, my bf located a ribbon that said something like, "I wish I was the captain of a pirate ship that flew through the sky," and I rejoiced at having found a kindred spirit.

  4. I, too, wish Newt's balls would fall off.

  5. Performing with a gospel choir sounds really fun. I remember watching the movie Polly and my dad saying "We should go to a Black church, look at how much fun everyone's having!" and it was true-- it looked a lot more fun than sitting at St. Paul's every Sunday.

  6. Anonymous1:50 PM

    "Why ya'll gotta waste my flavor?" Hahaha I have to say that's the first time I've heard that one. I can't wait to go out into the world and use it.

  7. Your dad always sounds like such an amazing man.

    Also, would you do a post of you singing?

  8. Love this idea. Good thing it's too far away for me to go, or you'd trip over the piles of testicles on the floor.

  9. Too many cheesy jokes with referenc to ebony and ivory so all I will say is I love the idea of that exhibit and would like to see it myself.

    Your dad's wish is more than a little awesome too.

    Bikini waxes are less awesome but a necessary evil. At least in my world.

  10. I love stuff like this...I'm even a fan of those creepy chain letters that everyone wants burned. Anyway, I wouldn't waste my wish on Newt and his old balls,that's for sure.

  11. You guys crack me up.

    And Annah -- careful what you wish for. YOU JUST MIGHT GET IT. Just this weekend my sister sent me a recording of me singing Madonna at age 9. It's horrifying.

  12. Your dad is hilarious! Love the reference to 'Can't Hardly Wait'.

  13. Sister Zoe5:35 PM

    Ahem, sister- it seems as though someone has requested a blog post with you singing...do you think you can deliver? Can they handle it? after all, she was kinnnd of singing with a black church choir.


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...