Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Scene From A Marriage: Love's A Gas

Sorry, guys, I'm burned out after staying up until 4:30 finishing my weekly Project Runway recap. Someday I'll stop writing about toilets. Someday...

Scene: Walking home from a friend's house Thursday night. I am tired; Jeff looks troubled.

Me: Are you OK?
Jeff: [grunt]
Me: Is there something on your mind? You look like you have feelings that need to come out.
Jeff: [silence]
Me: Do you need to make an emotional fart?
Jeff: [laughs]
Me: Just let it rip. Like a heart fart. A fheart!

Long pause.

Jeff: He who felt it, dealt it.
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14 comments :

  1. You guys are so perfect for each other! Love it :)

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  2. I seriously farted after I read this. A real fart. Just though you would like to know. Since you write about toilets and all.

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  3. My ex decided that farting in front of your partner is one of the four horsemen of relationship apocalypse.

    This from the man who often picked ingrown hairs out of my bikini line.

    *overshare*

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  4. I recently broke up with the world's most flatulent man. The relationship had a ton of problems, but when I think about why I'm glad I'm out, his ass-roaring always makes it to the top of the list.

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  5. I thought this was gonna be about real gas- because every man I have ever loved farts and ruins the romance.

    But I am so glad your post was about fhearts.

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  6. There is so much flatulence around here between my husband and my oldest son, in particular, that a heart fart is the last thing we need...although maybe ridding ourselves of those emotions would better aid digestion....

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  7. Fart is the funniest word in the English language. Now modify that with heart? And yeah, it's even funnier. Thanks for the laughing gas.

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  8. It has to come out, one end or the other.

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  9. Love is a gas! Especially on chili night. Pass the Beano!

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  10. lol.i hope hes feeling not so troubled about whatever it was he was

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  11. you're breakin my fheart.

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  12. With a title like that, how can it not be awesome?

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  13. You know what? (And I say this with all my straight-oriented heart):

    Jeff is such a lucky guy to have you!

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