Monday, August 30, 2010

Mirror, Mirror On the Wall

For me, going to the bathroom and having sex should never overlap. (Yes, folks, it's Monday morning and I'm swingin' for the fences!) But this weekend I discovered there's one awkward situation that applies to both: the presence of a mirror.

Now, I get the sex mirror thing. I get that some people like seeing themselves in flagrante delicto, which sounds like a pretentious gelato flavor but which actually means humping.

But prithee, oh bathroom contractor, why is it possible for me to take this photograph?

Reenactment; I do not use my cell phone on the toilet except to take covert photos of multi-racial babies frolicking in buckets. Wait, that sounds wrong...

And that is how I discovered that the menu of faces I make when faced with myself in a compromising position are the same no matter what I'm doing:

SHOCK

FASCINATION

SHAME

AVOIDANCE

DISGUST

CONTEMPT/NEARSIGHTEDNESS

NARCISSUS

REMOTE POSSIBILITY I AM ACTUALLY ON CANDID CAMERA, EVEN THOUGH THAT SHOW DOESN'T EXIST ANYMORE AND DOM DELUISE IS DEAD

Needless to say I will not be starring in a homemade toilet sex tape anytime soon. You're welcome, America.

P.S. I live-blogged the Emmys last night. So that happened. Fashion throw-down to come later this week!
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16 comments :

  1. I imagine your look of FASCINATION came around 10:50pm last night when you contemplated the mustache ride on the Emmy's!

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  2. Shame is classic! lol

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  3. i can't decide whether i like 'disgust' or 'contempt/nearsightedness' better. both are stellar faces.

    i don't know that i'd be able to use a bathroom where there was a mirror directly across from where i'm expected to do my business. that just seems so wrong.

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  4. First non-nude bathroom pictures I'v seen Thank you, I was sure their were normal people out their.

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  5. I've never understood that sort of mirror/toilet placement either. Our main floor bath has the same set up so if one is seated for a long period of time doing you-know-what...they have to avert their eyes so as not to be stuck watching their own 'faces'. It's ridiculous.

    Now I'm off to read the live Emmy blog.

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  6. I am sooo lucky I do not have a mirror in my toilet room. Sadly, it's incased in the same room as the shower though.

    I see multiracial babies in a baucket! I got that reference!

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  7. I think it is very strange that you would have a mirror across from your toilet.

    Very funny blog post, though. I love the expressions. But what about the one of utter joy, followed by relaxation? Surely you've experience that in both locations.

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  8. love the pics!! I was thinking "wow, is she surprised when she makes a poopie?"

    Don't feel bad about your mirror situation. It could theoretically be helped... Like with a door or a curtain...

    The bathroom at my mom's house (read: MY bathroom growing up) has an entire wall that is a mirror. Over the sink, it stops at the sink. Next to the toilet (oh, yes... NEXT to it, as in 4 inches away) it is CEILING TO FLOOR mirror!
    Great for finding moles on your upper thigh, btw.

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  9. i LOVE the 'disgust' face. Excellent. I have a hideous bethroom mirror that enlarges your reflection so that you can see every single pore and blackhead. I was in wrinkle denial until l loked into it.

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  10. This certainly goes right to the top of my Ten Favorite Bathroom Blog Posts!

    I am sure you are now contemplating the possibly of marketing this photo-album/bathroom etiquette book.

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  11. hahah this pot made me laugh and then i read your live blogging of the Emmy's and THAT made me laugh even more. so i say.. touche... touche to you.

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  12. candid camera face ftw!

    something about no lipped pictures git meh grl.

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  13. two things...

    A. Fascination face looks frighteningly similar to a combination of Joan Rivers and Minnie Driver... that in of itself deserves some kind of merit award.

    B. Candid Camera face makes me want to tuck you in my pocket and take you with me where ever I go for a day.

    mad props Una; mad props.

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  14. Lou_Briccant5:40 PM

    "Candid Camera" face is all Darlene Connor....there, I said it.

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  15. Imma gunna have to give an amen to Lou_B.

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  16. I like "disgust" the best - although I have to say "shock" is pretty great too. I linked this over at Kate's Library as part of my Friday Five!

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